Saucy Lucy Wisdom

BLACK TEETH?

2012-03-07T04:00:00.077-08:00

A Facebook post my niece recently made, regarding people and their addiction to sweet things, such as diet soda, made me recall some information I ran across a while back.

While conducting research on Elizabethan England, I discovered the upper crust society got so hooked on consuming sweets, their teeth began to decay and rot.

It became a sign of wealth to have black teeth. Lower class citizens weren't able to afford all that good stuff, so they blackened their teeth with soot in order to "keep up with the Joneses," and fool people into thinking they had money.

Folks today are no different than the past. How we love our dessert! We crave it, we long to have that gooey concoction fix every so often. Fortunately these days, medical research has taught us how terrible it is for our dental health and our waistlines, so we try to enjoy it in moderation.

Imagine actually wanting to have black teeth to fit in with everyone in town. It boggles the mind.

How far would you go to try and "keep up with the Joneses?" I'm all for some healthy competition between those I admire and would like to emulate.

But I wouldn't want black teeth, that's for sure!.

Read Novels; Understand Body Language

2012-02-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

Open a book, travel to new places, meet new people. Reading
is a pretty cheap form of entertainment during tough economic
times, don't you think?

Not only do I write books, I read them. Books are special--no, make that magical! They not only transport readers to another place and time, they can teach us as well.

Did you realize novels can help you make more friends? Yup. That's what researchers from the University of Toronto have discovered. You're probably asking yourself the question, "How in the H E double hockeystick does that work?"

According to scientific studies, if we emphathize with the characters in romances, mysteries, thrillers, horror stories and other genres, it makes us emphathize better with the individuals in our lives.

Turning the pages and reading about fictional people help us pick up on body-language signals and facial cues. That helps us be more perceptive and connect better with others.

Maybe that means if I read more books, I'll understand why it is that every time I settle into a nice hot bath some punk rings the doorbell? Or the second hubby and I sit down to eat dinner, the phone rings? Hmm, maybe I'm overthinking this. The ability to read body language will NOT give me ESP, darn it. Now that I cogitate about this concept for a while longer, I believe the rocket scientists' research is getting clearer.

Reading novels will probably just help me decipher the blank stares I get from my granddaughters when I launch into a one-sided discussion about how important it is to keep their rooms clean and help their mother with household chores. It might help me understand my boss's white knuckles and tightly gripped pen when we discuss how the heck we'll ever be able to complete the looming mountain of projects on our plates. Perhaps, it will also help me "get it" when I mention to my husband that this or that object around the house needs to be fixed, and he refuses to look me in the eye, turns up the TV volume and nods absently. Translation: He'll get around to it when hell freezes over.

Ah, hem. I digress. Now, back to interpreting facial expressions and body language. Body language, known as kinesics (pronounced 'kineesicks'), is a serious study. Experts say words account for 7 percent of communication, the tone of your voice accounts for 38 percent, and body language accounts for a whopping 55 percent. The phrase, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it," comes to mind. That's why e-mail and other forms of communication that aren't personal and face-to-face leave us at a disadvantage. But that's a whole 'nother blog topic...

I've shared only a small amount of information here about body language and what it could mean. You might want to use some of these for characters in your books, or maybe they'll just help you understand what the guy who delivers your newspaper is saying when he flips the bird at your house as he schlumps down your snowy, unshoveled sidewalk.

CAN'T YOU HEAR THEIR BODY TALK?

Someone touches the bridge of their nose. What they're really saying: "I don't want to be here."

Someone strokes their neck. What they're really saying: "I'm insecure in this situation."

Someone crosses their arms. What they're really saying: "I'm giving myself a hug."

Someone shoves their hands on their hips, eyes downcast, brow furrowed. What they're really saying: "I'm very angry."

Someone smiles; eyes crinkled, cheekbones raised. What they're really saying: "I'm honestly happy."

Someone's mouth pulls to the side for a moment. What they're really saying: "I despise what you are saying."

Someone meets your gaze, leans forward, and touches your arm occasionally. What they're really saying: "I'm having a good time."

Someone touches their face a lot, runs their hand through their hair, strokes his beard, stares off in the distance. What they're really saying: "I'm more into myself than what you're saying."

Someone rubs their arm or knee. What they're really saying: "I'm uncomfortable."

Someone double-crosses their legs at the knees and ankles. What they're really saying: "I don't want to talk, I don't like what's going on."

Last, but not least, here is a website for further study, if you're so inclined. This is only one site I ran across, but there are many out there. http://www.businessballs.com/body-language.htm. What types of body language have you run across, and in what kind of situations? Anything funny or unique you'd like to share?

Stealing Time

2012-02-22T04:00:00.000-08:00

Blogger and Facebook and Twitter, oh my!

Those are just the basics. There are so many other fun social networking sites that I'd love to spend time on. I can easily get overwhelmed just thinking about all the opportunities.

So I've decided to be satisfied with what I know and quit stressing. There are only so many hours in the day and I barely find the time to do what is important to me.

HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?

I don't know the answer to that. It depends on what each person decides. But it does bring up the topic of time management. Many people have theories about what works best; at least what works best for them, depending on what they are trying to squeeze into their lives. Since a huge chunk of my time is spent chasing the almighty dollar so I can put food on the table and pay for medical insurance, that time is carved down to merely hours in a day to spend on little old me.

Good thing, it isn't necessary for me to obsess over my hair or makeup. I have a simple hairstyle and application of cosmetics takes about five minutes. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to change the patchwork quilt of freckles my face has taken on. I'd need a time machine to fix that.

Since I am a fool for writing, I need to carve out a couple of hours to write every day. I don't have any magic bullets or fantastic fix-all ideas that makes it all work. I've just learned to be persistant and determined about what I want.

Years ago, I had a desk and computer set up in the family room. A few hours of writing time was stolen when my youngest son napped and the older two were at school. A full-time mom back then, that didn't seem to difficult to manage. Returning to work threw my balance off-kilter. That's when the creativeness came into play. I had to decide whether morning or evening would work better for my writing mojo. Since I wound up with my face planted on my computer keys too many times, snoring like a fool as the clock hands approached midnight, I decided early morning would be better.

Let me tell you it wasn't easy because who the heck wants to crawl out of warm, snuggly blankets during those wee hours? It took a bit to figure out how to make it work, and I'm not always good at it. But I continue to try. Each night, I hit the sack around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m., much to the delight of my friends and family who think it's hilarious that I must go beddy-bye so early. In the morning, depending on whether I'm really energetic, I rise around 4:00 or 5:00 a.m. before I head off to my job at 7:15 a.m. I plunk down at my desk, coffee in hand and little dog at my feet. I don't start with a blank computer screen. That would be too frightning. Each evening, as I sit in front of the squawking T.V., ignoring most of the silly, noisy programs (except for The Walking Dead and a couple of other favorites) I pre-write.

Notebook in hand, I sketch out ideas about where I believe my current work should go, depending on what scene I'm working on. That exercise helps me be prepared to plant myself in front of my computer the next morning. At that point, there is no time for plotting. Only writing. That's not to say things won't change as my fingers gloss over the computer keys. Often they do because my characters change my mind about what they want to say or what they want to happen. For the most part, I listen. Sometimes not.

Either way, after my sacred, carved out time, I have a few pages to show for my efforts. When I go back through my completed manuscript to do my final edits on a second draft, I usually add in more emotions and color--things I hope will make the book more appealing and enjoyable.

That is how I typically (not always because sometimes I get burned out) turn out a chapter a week, four chapters in a month, a book a year. Maybe I don't work as fast as other authors but it gets the job done and it makes me happy. I'm making progress toward my goal. It also allows me to have a real life. I can visit with friends and family, clean my house, grocery shop (another big waste of time, but necessary) do a little travel and work so I can pay the bills and bring in some retirement when the nine-to-five grind is over.

Maybe you're a writer, a painter, a crafter, or someone who just wants to find time pursuing a favorite hobby. Too often, life gets in the way of being creative.

What helps you find the time to do the enjoyable things as well as do the practical things?

Be My Valentine

2012-02-14T04:00:00.008-08:00

Today is a day to show your love, but you will
benefit by showing love every day.

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back - Arthur Rubinstein.

Crass commercialism.

That's what a lot of people call the uproar surrounding this heart-melting holiday. The roses in the flower shop or supermarket beckon to unsuspecting husbands and boyfriends. Perhaps they prefer to purchase candy, sparkly bling, or maybe even hoody-footy PJ's covered in pink hearts for their sweeties.

I'll admit, I like to get flowers on Valentines Day. It makes me feel special and loved. The chocolates I can live without because the sugary goo collects in unmentionable places on my body.

Even though we may get overwhelmed by all the commercialism, Valentine's Day wasn't created by greetings card companies just to sell cards and candies. The day is surrounded by mystery, and the exact origins of the celebration of St. Valentine are somewhat difficult to pin down.

It appears to have come into being in 498 AD when Pope Gelasius proclaimed February 14 to be St. Valentine's Day. It's still not completely understood who the legendary saint of love really was, and the Catholic Church acknowledges three separate saints named Valentine or Valentinus. All of them were martyrs.

Regardless of the ancient lore, this day reminds me of who I love and why. It also reminds me that we need to live each day as if it is our last, because we never know when our time is up. We should celebrate each morning upon awakening because we have another day to live and make a difference in the world. We should celebrate each evening as we lay our heads on our pillows because we've made it through another day, and hopefully we were able to make it better for someone.

Remember, in the twinkling of an eye, we may be at Saint Peter's gates asking for admittance. When I think how suddenly existence can end, I try to take advantage of each opportunity that comes my way to let my loved ones and friends know how much I appreciate having them in my lives.

On Valentine's Day, we send overt messages of love to proclaim our feelings. I think it might be wise to take the opportunity every day to send messages of love; whether we do it by shoveling someone's sidewalk after a snowfall, picking up some groceries for an elderly neighbor or giving your child or grandchild an extra special hug and telling them how very special they are.

The magical thing--all that love comes back at the most unexpected times. That is when a slice of heaven is given to us to cherish.

Who have you shared your love with today?

Seven Year Witch is coming soon!

2012-02-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Miranda Rose, novice witch of the Wysteria Hedge Haven Clan will soon be riding her broom, Nellie, to a bookstore near you! And if you don't find her on the shelves, you will be able to purchase her at Amazon.com in paperback version and eventually Kindle.

You'll love her hilarious escapades with Sir Maxwell Chadwick, the Duke of Pellamshire, as they scour the quaint English countryside in search of the wizard holding the Philosopher's Stone. Get ready for a fun-filled ride that will leave you in stitches and have you falling in love!

Are You There, Writer?

2012-02-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

What do you need to reach the top?

In 1943, while Adolf Hitler was waging his reign of terror, Abraham Maslow was developing his theories on mental health and human potential. If Maslow had done research on someone with a disturbed psychology, perhaps he might have chosen Hitler. Instead, Maslow chose to study healthy, well-adapted individuals.

Because of his research, we now have a diagram called “Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs.” I’ve posted Maslow’s five levels of self-actualization. The bottom of the pyramid represents basic needs of survival, while the top levels represent what we need to personally flourish.

Maslow’s theory suggests that once people have met the basic needs of shelter, food, etc., they typically branch out to connect with others, then begin to achieve and accomplish in different areas. Now maybe this is a stretch, and I don’t have any fancy-schmancy college degrees that lend any credence to my meanderings, but I decided maybe I could translate those five levels of growth progression into what we need to grow as writers.

Please bear with my crazy ramblings, but here it is:

A WRITER'S HEIRARCHY OF NEEDS

PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS

Maslow said that in order for people to survive, they need to have basic needs met such as food, water, sleep and air. For writers to survive, we first need something to write with; paper and pencil, typewriter, computer--that sort of thing. We need the basic tools to record our stories. Without these, we are dead in the water because our characters and plots will stay stuck in our heads forever, driving us crazy rather than (hopefully) entertaining the masses.

SECURITY NEEDS

Next Maslow said people need safety, security and shelter to survive. Let's see...for a writer, at least at the beginning of our careers, before we start earning the big bucks, that would mean we need a day job to enable us to buy food and clothes, to maintain our homes and cars and to afford health insurance. Or that would mean maybe we are retired and have a steady pension that takes care of necessities. Or we may possibly have a significant other who provides financial stability so we can concentrate on building a writing career. Here's another possibility, and this is the funnest to think about, maybe we inherited wealth or won the lottery, making us independently wealthy and enabling us to pursue writing without financial concerns. You get the idea. I think I also want to add that a writer needs a dedicated area to write in, such as a desk in the corner of the family room, a place at the kitchen table or maybe even our own office where we can focus on creating.

SOCIAL NEEDS

Maslow said social needs aren't as necessary as the psysiological and security needs. However, once the first two needs are fulfilled, people begin to reach out for friendship, companionship and acceptance. For writers, I would say that at this stage we begin to connect through social networking sites dedicated to writing or we begin to join writers groups and attend meetings, attend writers conferences and possibly join critique groups so we can receive feedback, recognition and acceptance as recorders of the written word. We crave being with other writers, to feel the special energy that wordsmiths create and to hold discussions using the unique language known only by other authors.

ESTEEM NEEDS

Once the first three needs are satisfied, Maslow found that people needed to validate themselves by building their self esteem. For writers, at this point, we may feel confident enough in our writing that we begin to submit our work to writers contests where we will hopefully receive enough positive feedback to improve our scores, enabling us to eventually place in a contest or possibly even win. At this point, writers are probably confident enough to submit their work, weathering the rejections (albeit difficult), until eventually pieces begin to sell. Then, hallalleujah, we begin to receive recognition for our contributions to the literary world.

SELF-ACTUALIZING NEEDS

At the top tier of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, this level happens when people are self-aware, concerned with personal growth, less concerned with the opinions of others and interested in fulfilling their potential. For writers, this is where the rubber really hits the road and we begin to spread our wings. We write to please our own muses, not someone else's muse. We challenge the boundaries of our imaginations, we take on more difficult plots and our characters become deeper. We have found our voices, and we are comfortable with our writing skills and what we know about the craft. This is where our writing seems to take on a life of its own. By the time we've reached the fifth level, we are only limited by our own imaginations. In essense, we strap on wings and let our writing soar. As long as we keep our eyes on the finish line, we have nowhere to go but up.

Okay, back to earth now. What do you think of A Writer's Heirarchy of Needs? Is there anything that you think should be added? Or have I completely missed the boat? Do you see yourself in any of the levels? Let me know what you think, and thanks for stopping by!

Maslow's theory states that once our basic needs are met, we have an innate need to succeed and accomplish things. What are you striving for? What do you need to make it happen?

Dirty Laundry

2012-02-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

Ye olde washing machine...use it to spin up a good story.

For some reason, I'm the "chosen one" to do all the laundry in my household. It's been that way for longer than I can remember. If I think about it too much, it really pisses me off. I work full time, I grocery shop, I clean the house, cook dinner, run the household errands and I spend a lot of wonderful time looking after my sweet little granddaughters.

(I can bare my soul to anyone reading this because hubby dearest doesn't read my blog. In fact, he thinks anything to do with social networking is from the devil, and that those of us who participate are being sucked into a giant conspiracy. He doesn't understand that sometimes I feel like I've got skates on my feet as I zoom from one thing to the next. And he absolutely doesn't understand that I feel like my head will explode from all I'm trying to accomplish.)

So, alas, I'm forever the charwoman.

Lord only knows how I find time to write, too. Maybe if I didn't have the other distractions in my life, I would have a shelf full of best-selling tomes to offer the world. Yet, despite my frustration at trying to do it all, I feel my house and my family and my job complement my writing and make it ring with reality and truth. Some might see it as a compromise, but I see my life experiences as the "icing on the cake" of my stories.

Many of you probably feel the same way. There are so many things we have to do, but we also want to write or paint or travel or volunteer or do whatever it is that fulfills our needs as humans. It's a real juggling act, and at this point I should insert a photo of a clown throwing around colored rings. But I won't, because recently a good friend of mine, Blaze McRob, has been writing some pretty scary things about clowns, so I'll skip that visual if you don't mind.

No wonder my mom used to call me Cindy-rella.

Back to the charwoman thing because I'm getting the point to all of this whining. The other day, as luck would have it, I was throwing in a load clothes. One by one I stuffed into the basket dark-colored articles that would wash well together.

Suddenly, a scene I'd been working on flashed before my eyes. Light bulb moment! I knew how I wanted to write it. The charwoman in me smiled like a sly old dog. Up to this point, I'd been having some difficulty figuring out where to go with my chapter. As though the heavens had rolled back and offered an epiphany, I understood how my plot needed to move along.

Now I'm not saying you have to scrub ovens and toilets in order to plot your book. Far from it. If I could get out of that particular duty, I'd gladly hand over the keys to the kingdom to some other willing sucker. What I am saying, however, is that you can use those toilet-scrubbing, grocery-shopping moments to fuel your imagination. Keep a notebook at the ready to write down those sudden ideas that come to you while watching your kid's soccer game or maybe while you're at work.

When we take a step away from our writing and give it some space, our brains have a chance to sort through all of our ideas and offer up the best gems. Never disregard those little voices in your heads that tell you how a scene can be better. Honestly, those nuggets of inspiration are absolutely golden.

Even if they come to you during your washing machine's spin cycle!

An Interview with Romance Author Elysa Hendricks

2012-01-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

A hot cowboy romance!

Happy Wednesday! Today multi-published author Elysa Hendricks, http://www.elysahendricks.com/, is providing a guest post about the nuts and bolts of the writing craft, and believe me, she knows her stuff. I've put up covers of her most recent e-books, and you can click on the cutlines to get to Amazon if you want to pick them up, but check out her website where you'll see her other books. She is a powerful writer, and she offers solid characters and good story.

First, a little background information about how Elysa and I became friends. She had placed an ad in Writers' Digest and was looking for other writers to correspond with. So we kept in contact via snail mail for a while, then e-mail, and now we're Facebook buddies.

We met each other face to face for the first time at a writer's conference in Chicago many years ago, which strengthened the friendship. We've called each other and we've had many e-mail conversations discussing the writing business and our writing careers. Even though we've never lived close, we've managed to share a lot. She's critiqued and helped brainstorm some of my books,and I've done critiquing on hers. In fact, she was a great brain-storming partner on "The Seven-Year Witch," my upcoming release through Angelic Knight Press.Her great ideas helped me polish the manuscript, and I really appreciate her input.

We've celebrated each other's publishing successes and we've comforted each other when the writing business took its toll. Maintaining a writing career is like a roller coaster ride and I cherish the fact that Elysa has always offered an encouraging voice. When I whined that my writing sucked, she patiently told me, in so many words, to pull up my big girl panties and never give up. Then she offered advice that made my writing better.

Elysa and I have a running squirrel joke and frequently send each other "squirrely" gifts. One of us, I don't remember which, had heard about an 80-year old woman who had dreamed her whole life of being a published writer. When it didn't happen, she finally self-published a book about a squirrel. So to Elysa and I, squirrels represent the determination to succeed and the desire to achieve your dreams.

I'm still reading this one...

PLOT IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD
by Elysa Hendricks

Let’s face it PLOT is a four-letter word. But what is Plot really?

Webster’s Dictionary defines Plot as: the arrangement of the incidents in a play, novel, or narrative poem. Or Plotted - Plotting: to plan the action of a story.

But Plot is not your story. Plot is the events that happen in your story that moves your characters from Point A to Point B and beyond.

To me, Plot is taking your story premise, finding all the pieces you need to make that premise successful and finally sticking all those pieces in the right spots to bring the story to a satisfying conclusion. Creating a plot is like assembling a jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces are plot points, but unless and until you put them together in the right order you don’t have a picture – or a story.

In his book, HOW TO WRITE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY Orson Scott Card says, "All stories contain four elements that help determine the story structure (plot): Milieu, Idea, Character and Event." What he calls THE MICE QUOTIENT.

The following is paraphrased from Mr. Card's book.

MILIEU: In a milieu story the world is most important. Characters may change and grow during the story, but the worlds they visit are the focus.

IDEA: The idea story has a simple structure. A question is asked and answered. Mystery stories fit in this category. Who did it and why?

CHARACTER: It's concerned with the transformation of the character from the beginning of the story to the end. This is the type of story almost always used in romance.

EVENT: An event story begins when something is wrong with the fabric of the universe: the world is out of order, in flux. It ends when a new order is established, an old order is restored or the world descends into chaos as the forces of order are destroyed.

Most stories can be made to fit any category. Some combine two or more. All stories have these four elements, but one usually dominates the others. And there is almost always a best structure for each story.

TRUE PLOT IS CHARACTER IN ACTION

So once we have our milieu, idea, character and event and have chosen the type of story we want to tell, how do we get a Plot? What events do we use to put our character in action and tell our story?

This one's next on my shopping list.

Well we could run our character through a series of events until the end of the story. John gets up in the morning, has a fight with his wife, on the drive to work has a fender bender, he’s late, his boss yells at him, he loses an important client, he has lunch with his mistress, he goes back to work, he makes a big sale, he stops by a bar on the way home, he goes home tipsy, his wife gives him the cold shoulder and a cold dinner, he watches TV and drinks a couple more beers and then goes to bed to start all over in the morning. By definition this is a plot, but not one that would satisfy a reader.

Unlike real life your story needs to have structure and purpose. The reader wants to follow the character through the events of the story to some conclusion. She wants to see John face and overcome or succumb to challenges. She wants to see John grow and change. She wants to understand, at least by the end of the book, why she spent three hours of her life with John.

So how do we create a Plot that will give the reader what she wants, that keeps her turning the page long after bedtime? We give her a character to care about. A character to love or hate. A character to root for or against.

In The Wizard of OZ its Dorothy’s longing to go over the rainbow that propels her into adventure. In Star Wars it’s Luke’s dream of fighting the Empire that sends him across a universe to discover his true heritage. We evolve out plot from our characters’ wants and needs, strengths and weaknesses. They determine the course of our story – they create our plot. Have your character move the plot, rather than your plot move the character.

To do this we use the basic building blocks of the novel - SCENE & SEQUEL.

SCENE:

Cause & Effect - Stimulus & Response - Action & Reaction.

Each scene consists of three parts.

Goal – What does your character want?

Motivation – Why does he want it?

Conflict – And what’s going to keep him from getting it?

Without these three parts you don’t have a scene. Debra Dixon’s book GOAL, MOTIVATION, CONFLICT is helpful in understanding how to use GMC to create compelling stories.

SEQUEL

A sequel is a time of emotion and thought between dramatic scenes.

Like a scene a sequel is made up of three parts.

Reaction – the character’s emotional reaction to what happened in the previous scene.

Thought – the character thinks about what he might do next - choices add suspense.

Decision – what he decides may reveal character, determine the direction of the plot and give the character a new goal for the next scene.

Well-crafted scenes and sequels will draw the reader through the story, with each revealing a little more about the characters and moving the story toward a satisfactory ending. The plot should evolve out of the choices made by the characters in each scene and sequel. In his book SCENE & STRUCTURE Jack Bickham shows how to use them to construct a solid novel.

So once you've decided on your story use THE MICE QUOTIENT, SCENE & SEQUEL, and CHARACTERIZATION as guides in assembling your PLOT. And remember what Somerset Maugham said, "There are three rules to writing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."

Thanks for stopping by, Elysa and happy writing to everyone. May the "writing" force be with you!

Cast Away Encourgement

2012-01-18T04:00:00.000-08:00

A penny for your thoughts...

The other day I was doing something I nag my husband to stop doing.

Channel surfing.

People who do this annoy the crap out of me, but I got all caught up in the flashy images on the big screen TV and found myself guilty of breaking my own rules!

Some good came of it, though. I stopped to watch the end of the movie "Cast Away," and caught some interesting wisdom from Tom Hanks' character, Chuck Nolan. I've seen this movie before, but something about the ending stood out out for me.

To refresh your memory, or maybe you've never seen the movie, here's the plot in a nutshell. Chuck's plane went down and he was stranded on an island for four years.

Survival was difficult while Chuck was stranded, and at a certain point, he knew if he didn't get off the island he'd eventually die alone. So he decided to build a raft. He had no idea what would happen; whether he'd be rescued or not, but he knew he wanted to try. He took a risk, set off on his raft and hoped for the best.

The tides allowed him to drift 500 miles before a passing ship rescued him and he returns to his home town. He looked forward to reuniting with Kelly, the love of his life, but that didn't happen. Because Kelly thought Chuck was dead, she married someone else while he was gone. To his credit, Chuck didn't blame her because he loved her enough to understand what she went through.

In a final scene, Chuck told his friend how confused he is by the way life turned out for him. Though he was heartbroken by the turn of events, Chuck mentions that the sun will continue to come up every day and he has to just continue breathing because, "You never know what the tide will bring in."

How many of us have the will to continue on our journey with a positive attitude, even though the goals we achieve don't come out exactly as we envisioned them? I know it's difficult to embrace the different landscape, but I've come to realize that fate, or whatever universal forces guide our lives, may have different things in mind for us. Sometimes those different things turn out to be just as good, if not better, than what we originally envisioned.

Maybe you have had goals, writing or otherwise, that you've worked hard to achieve, but things worked out differently than you hoped. How did you adapt to the change, and what did you learn?

I'm signing copies of "A Killer Slice" at City News Book Store on Friday, Jan. 20, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m.

2012-01-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody!

I'll be down at City News Book Store, 1722 Carey Ave., Friday, Jan. 20, 11 a.m.–1 p.m., signing copies of "A Killer Slice." I'll also have copies of the first two books in the series, "The Saucy Lucy Murders" and "Paws-itively Guilty."

Aunt Gladys, a character in the book, will also be there to greet fans!

An Interview with Horror Writer, William Cook

2012-01-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

To purchase "Blood Related," Click here...

Today I’m interviewing fellow Angelic Knight Press author William Cook, a very talented writer and illustrator from New Zealand. His novel, “Blood Related” has just hit the shelves. I downloaded a Kindle version, and let me tell you, the writing is powerful. It starts off with a bang, and never stops. I’m definitely looking forward to reading more!

Here is a short synopsis of the story:

Meet Caleb Samael Cunningham, a diabolical serial-killer with an inherited psychopathology, passed down via a blood-soaked genealogy. Caleb is a disturbed young man whose violent father is a suspected serial killer and mother, an insane alcoholic. After his father’s suicide, Cunningham’s disturbing fantasy-life becomes reality, as he begins his killing spree in earnest. His identical twin brother Charlie is to be released from an asylum and all hell is about to break loose, when the brothers combine their deviant talents. Blood Related is a serial-killer/crime novel told in a first-person narrative style from the killer’s (Caleb’s) point-of-view.

Cindy: Since he is quite an accomplished artist, William did his own cover art. How neat is that? William, what were you thinking about when you designed your artwork for Blood Related?

William: I didn’t actually do the cover art but I did come up with the concept. When I saw the cover for Matt Hult’s great book ‘Husk,’ I instantly loved the look and asked him who did the photography. He put me on to the talented Danielle Tunstall (http://danielletunstall.com/http://danielletunstall.com/) who had an image that screamed at me when I saw it and I knew I had to have it for the cover. She agreed and has been a great advocate since. I wanted a cover that would be eye-catching and make a statement, and with Danielle and Angelic Knight Press’s help, I think we’ve achieved that.

Cindy: And it is, indeed, a great cover. So you live in New Zealand, where exactly?

William: I live in Wellington – the small wind-blown capital city of New Zealand

Cindy: Living in windy Cheyenne, Wyo. I totally identify with how it's like living in a windy city. The tree in my front yard leans permanently to the east, the way the wind has bent it. How long have you been writing, and what inspired you the most in your career (s)?

William: I have been writing weird stories ever since I was a kid. My first published works were poems in various literary journals in NZ and a few in the States. Back in 1996 I published a collection of verse titled ‘Journey: The Search for Something’ and had the occasional poem and short story published online, but nothing really of note until last year when Lee Pletzers from Triskaideka Books (http://triskaidekabooks.co.nz/) accepted my story ‘The Devil Inside’ for the 2010 Masters of Horror Anthology. I have always loved the Horror genre and dark literature, so this really inspired me to focus my writing on what I loved rather than what I thought other people wanted to read and it has finally started to pay off. ‘Blood Related’ has been a labor of love and took me roughly six years to write and it wasn’t until I changed day-jobs that I had the time to bring it all together as my debut novel.

Cindy: Six years! Wow, I admire your dedication! How do you picture your writing career 10 years from now? What would you like to accomplish?

William: I envisage having a publishable novel ready for submission at the end of each following year. I am currently writing a sequel to ‘Blood Related,’ another extreme Horror novel, and a collection of short Horror/dark fiction. Ten years from now I would like to have accompanying screenplays based on my novel/s, completed and circulating. I would also like to write a novel that wasn’t Horror fiction, as I have an interest in ‘meta-fiction’ via Updike, Danielewski, Foer etc and children’s books also.

Cindy: Very lofty goals, William, and I'm certain you will have great success with your endeavors. I'm wondering, what do you want readers to learn after reading your book?

William: I’m not imparting any wisdom with ‘Blood Related,’ I just want to scare people. The thing I love about the Horror and Thriller genre is that a good story will get your pulse racing and your heart thumping. I feel it is the best medium to create a world where the reader feels alive because they are experiening fear of some sort. Sounds sadistic I know, but I find personally that no other genre gives me the thrills I seek when I immerse myself in a fictional world. Hence the reciprocation, from writer to reader. John Paul Allen (https://www.facebook.com/pages/John-Paul-Allen/165058500230819), who was kind enough to give a great quote for ‘Blood Related,’ suggests that it is “a horrific crime-filled tale of terror that makes us understand why we lock our doors at night.” I guess if anything, readers could catch a glimpse of the monster that dwells within us all and reinforce their own fears! ‘Blood Related’ is essentially about that most inhumane creature of all, the male human! However, in saying that, the novel is definitely not a moral play and is intended purely as dark entertainment.

Cindy: Readers will definitely be entertained and thrilled when they read Blood Related, that's for sure! It's already gotten two five-star reviews.That is awesome. What is your next project?

William: My next project is a sequel to ‘Blood Related,’ tentatively titled ‘Blood Trail.’ This work will deal more with the character of Detective Ray Truman, as he struggles with his own demons and his obsessive pursuit of Caleb Cunningham, the main character in ‘Blood Related.' I have a collection of short fiction that I am compiling, which I hope to find a home for early 2012 and I in the early stages of converting ‘Blood Related’ into a screeplay.

Cindy: If you could have written any famous best seller, which one would it be and why?

William: Hypothetically, I guess ‘The Stand’ by Stephen King would be the one I wished I had penned. I have a sprawling WIP manuscript in the bottom of my filing cabinet that I have been working on for the last ten years, it is about a dystopian world that is like a cross between ‘The Stand,’ Kenneth Patchen’s ‘Albion Moonlight’ and Bunyan’s ‘ Pilgrim’s Progress.’ Without ‘The Stand’, and that horrible movie ‘The Day After’ (it made me paranoid about Nuclear Armageddon from an early age!), I probably wouldn’t have started writing this exercise in futility. As it is and will be, it will never shape up alongside Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’ – despite being an epic production in its own right. I think every writer aspires to pen that ‘ground-breaking’ novel and I’m no different in that respect.

Cindy: Any parting wisdom you want to leave readers with?

William: I wasted about a year trying to get my book published via traditional publishers and it was only through my participation in the Facebook Masters of Horror group that I started to consider the independent press. Blaze McRob started Angelic Knight Press with Yvonne Bishop earlier this year, both are great writers and really nice people to boot, so when they accepted my submission I was really happy that I had changed tact and become involved with the dynamic world of Independent Publishing. As a debut novelist, I don’t really feel in a position to offer advice to readers, but I would say that having a ‘thick skin’ and a certain degree of tenacity is crucial if you want to be a published writer. My perseverance has paid off and I’ve been privileged to have authors I look up to, give me feedback on my book. People like Jonathan Nasaw, Guy N. Smith, Laird Barron, Mark Edward Hall, John Paul Allen, and Nicholas Grabowsky, have all been kind enough to read and review my work – something I would never have believed possible until now. If the readers out there would like more information on ‘Blood Related’, including bibliographical and background information on the extensive research and reading I did while creating the novel, please visit: http://bloodrelated.wordpress.com//

Cindy: Thank you, William, for coming over to Saucy Lucy Wisdom and letting me interview you. Good luck with Blood Related, and we'll all be watching for more great books from you!

Blogger Award Thank You!!!

2012-01-08T20:08:00.000-08:00

Wow, Lara Schiffbauer at Motivation for Creation has just given me the Great Comments Award. She has a great blog, and her posts constantly remind me to stay in touch with my muse. Something I too often forget in the crazy world of writing, editing, marketing my work, and the thousand and one other things I do that fill my life.

In order to accept the award, I am also supposed to pass it on. So here are a couple of special individuals who I believe have great blogs that tell it like it is. They inspire me, and have a great ability of sharing things the realities of the writing world and how to remain professional despite the temptation to take the easy way out someties.

Sturgeon Creek Publishing, Kathy Rowe

The Author Spot, Stacey Turner

Writing for Publication is Like Gambling (Sort of...)

2012-01-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

Gambling for writing success...

Writing for publication: It's just like gambling in a way, I believe. Maybe it's a stretch, but bear with me and I'll try to explain.

We went up to Blackhawk, Colorado for a couple of days to enjoy the slots during the holidays. As I was sitting at one of the machines mindlessly watching the computerized images spin, the similarities flashed in my mind.

When you plop your pennies into the slot machine and spin the wheels over and over, or maybe you prefer spending money on lottery tickets, it's like plopping your best writing into a manuscript and shipping it off to publishers and agents and hoping they just might like it. If you get lucky, let's say, hit the jackpot, you sell the book or short story or whatever. I'm no math whiz, so I apologize for not knowing whether the odds are better at actual gambling or trying to publish your work. But the more you play (submit your work) the more you increase your chances of winning (getting published.) Right?

Sometimes the wins in writing are small (just as they often are with gambling) and they may wind up only being steps on the way to the bigger jackpot. But it's all good, especially with writing. Never pass up an opportunity to showcase your work. Just so long as we are still in the game, we will always have a chance at the big time.

Remember: You will never win if you don't play.

One big difference with gambling is that there is no emotional investment on the part of the slot machines or the card dealer. Basically, the chips fall where they will and if your number is up, you win the prize. Yay!

With editors and agents, you add the factor of personal preference. Do they like mystery or romance or horror? Do they like your writing style, your plot, your story pacing, your characters and motivations, etc. Maybe the publishing house is simply full up, and they have no more room to take on new projects. The list of subjective factors goes on.

That's where the hard work on a writer's part comes in. We've got to polish our writing skills and story telling abilities as best we can so that our work rises to the top. We've got to learn all we can to present ourselves and our work in a professional light. We've got to network and show our best side so that we are the authors publishing houses want to work with. Most importantly, we can never let the overwhelming odds get us down.

So, my advice to all the writers in the world for the new year is this:

Keep betting on yourself!

On Blogger Break: Happy Holidays!

2011-12-25T21:40:00.000-08:00

Book Interrupted

2011-12-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

First off, Merry Christmas! May the New Year bring awesome things for you and your family. Also, may you achieve great success in all your endeavors.

Now, some food for thought. Have you ever started writing a book, only to give up on it thinking...

"Oh, my heck. This story line has been done so many times. What reader, editor or agent is going to want to buy another one?"

Maybe you didn't even start writing the book in the first place. Maybe you somehow convinced yourself not to start on it because the moon isn't made of green cheese, the earth really isn't flat or Pluto has been declassified as a planet. You get the drift.

DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!

Unless there is a fatal flaw that cannot be fixed, try not to give up on your book. It may be the next "War and Peace" or "Gone With the Wind"...you just never know.

I have to admit: I've failed to start writing a book or have given up on writing one more times than I'd care to admit. Sometimes I've deleted the whole kit and caboodle from my jump drive because that evil little voice in my head told me the whole premise stunk. Or sometimes I got rid of it because a well-intentioned critique group ripped my work to shreds, and I wondered what in the world I thought I was writing.

It's ridiculous, the things we can convince ourselves of. Sometimes, I think writers are their own worst enemies! It doesn't help when editors and agents tell us our work isn't quite up to par. They probably adore sending us on wild goose chases, telling us romances or mysteries, westerns or vampire novels, or whatever we are writing, are dead, then watch us crawl back into our writing caves, miserable and defeated.

I envision them laughing, because while our minds are spinning in confusion about what to write, they're polishing up their favorite house authors and churning out romances, mysteries, westerns, or vampire novels--the exact stuff they told us wasn't selling.

"Go write your blogs," they tell us submitters. "Get on Facebook and Twitter and get a huge fan following and maybe then we'll have a look at what you've got to offer because then you'll have a platform."

Huh?

Personally, I think it's all a conspiracy. While we're building up an army of followers on social networking sites and tromping down our fellow authors so folks will join our blogs and not theirs, the fat cats in the publishing industry are chuckling.

"Look at those fools," they may be telling each other. "The minions believed us when we told them their work stinks and that XYZ book they submitted to us won't work because there's a lunar eclipse scheduled some time in the future and they aren't writing the genre we love or the genre we want to box them into..."

GET OFF THE HAMSTER WHEEL!

I'm nobody special, but this is what I think. Writers should write they want to and pay attention to making the work as good as it can be. At the end of the day, that's the type of story that will shine for you. Your writing voice will soar, your words will be golden and readers will love it. It might take a while to know what style and genre is best for you, but you've got to write what you love. You might be lucky and have a burning desire for a specific genre that is right for you from the very beginning of your career. As time goes on, it's also possible you may want to write in several different genres. What's key here, is don't limit yourself. Experiment and grow as a writer and write the best damn books you can. Don't listen to the voices that might try to steer you down the wrong path. If you work hard at marketing your books, I believe most, if not all of them, will eventually find homes.

You can't really "write for the "market" because it's freaky and trendy and nobody ever really knows what's hot, anyway. From a business perspective, it's a matter of supply and demand, so whatever readers are reading, book publishers want to provide.

The next time you start to tell yourself your book sucks, that it has been done a million times and you shouldn't try it, STOP. Consider the humble snowflake. During a snow storm, there are bazillions cavorting around through space and time. Why do we need so many of them? The snowflakes melt and bring us water, a valuable commodity for the earth because it's very much in demand to keep life going. It's all good.

Think of your book in the terms of a snowflake. Yes, your book is like all others in that it brings reading material to thirsty readers. But it's different, just as a snowflake is, because it has a different pattern, a different style, a different voice, different characters, different developments and different things at stake. Your book is in demand by readers because they don't want to rehash the same old snowflakes over and over. That would be pretty boring.

Now go and write and never, never hit the delete button! Even if you don't finish a book for some reason, save those snippets of wisdom you've worked on because at some point, they may work in different books.

Are there any books you've started, but for some reason you gave up on them? Why did you stop writing them, and do you have plans to take them up again?
　
　
　
　
　

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Christmas Traditions

2011-12-19T04:00:00.000-08:00

What are your Christmas Traditions?

When I was growing up, I remember my mom making wonderful cookies, pies and cakes for the holidays. And popcorn balls. And caramel corn. That woman could cook! I remember decorating the tree with her and the special ornaments she brought out; ones she'd picked up over the years. My favorites were the glittery little houses and the tiny elves sitting in chairs playing ornaments. The tree's bubble lights kept me fascinated for hours. Mom also used to let us kids "help" with the cutout cookies. When they were cool, she would make colored frosting and let us decorate them.

Just thinking about those magical growing up years makes me feel warm all over.

Years later, when I had kids of my own, I'd let them help decorate the cut out cookies. My daughter now has her daughters decorate the cut outs. And my granddaughters help me decorate my Christmas tree with the ornaments from my youth; the little glittery houses and the elves playing their ornaments. Our new traditions bring with them a touch of yesteryear and I hope my granddaughters will remember them fondly and create their own.

What things do you remember best as a kid at Christmas?

Quitting Is Not An Option

2011-12-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. --Henry David Thoreau

SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE...

Sometimes when the chips are down and we’ve been dealt another blow in our writing careers, such as an unprofessional rejection from an editor or agent or a stinging critique of our work, we need encouragement to help us stay on track with our goals. This isn’t the time for a pity party. Rather, it's when we need to get back in the saddle and keep on riding or should I say, "writing."

When I first decided to become a writer, I joined a great writer's group and found there were many talented members. I signed up to be in a critique group and after a couple of years, one of the members decided to throw in the towel. I was very surprised because I felt this person was a much better writer than me. If that individual really felt the need to stop writing and was satisfied with the decision, then so be it. But I've always wondered if my friend ever regretted making that move.

Just thinking about that, and what good things could have happened for this person, makes me sad. Isn't it better to have done your best to accomplish all you can toward a goal, rather than give it all up if things get too difficult or someone tells you your aspirations aren't valid?

As they say, life is a journey, not a destination. And so it is with writing. It is a journey that takes daily dedication, stick-to-it-iveness and passion for your art. Joy is most likely found along the path toward publication, not at the end of it. I feel if you retain your love for the written word and keep trying for that ultimate prize, however it works out, it's all worthwhile.

I’ve written a short story, based on a real event, that I hope will inspire you to keep your eye on the prize and not give up on your dreams.

A HANDSHAKE OF HOPE

When Ophelia Grant’s car hit the black ice, it ended her current existence and started another.

She braced herself as the car rolled once, then twice down an embankment. In her haste to get to get to a job interview, she’d neglected to fasten her seatbelt. Unrestrained, her body tossed about the interior of the vehicle like a rag doll. When the bent hulk that had once been her Volvo landed with a final thump, a sick sensation settled in her stomach. Like a raging wildfire, pain and agony shot through every inch of her body.

Laying inside the twisted wreck, shattered glass raining down about her, she groaned in agony. Her body felt like a giant lump of clay. She couldn’t move; couldn’t feel her legs. A dark, suffocating cloud pressed on her chest, stealing her breath, stealing her life force.

“I’m dying,” she thought as the faces of her family—her mother, her father and her little sister Chloe, appeared in her mind. Then she thought of her fiancé, Joe. The people she loved would miss her; and she would miss them. It wasn’t fair to be taken like this. She was just 22—her whole life ahead of her.

As an ambulance wailed in the distance, she took what she thought would be her last breath.

***

Upon waking up at the hospital, she received the worst news. Doctors explained her body had taken a pounding during the accident and she had received severe injuries.

“You’ll most likely never regain the use of your legs,” Dr. Smith told her, his blue eyes like chips of ice. In an emotionless voice, he began to explain her future outlook. “As soon as you arrived, you were rushed into surgery. I tried to repair the damage to your spinal cord, but it doesn’t look good. Once we stabilize you, you’ll be transferred to a rehab facility to learn how to do rudimentary things such as getting out of bed and dressing yourself…”

A loud buzz filled Ophelia’s ears and she barely heard him talking. Her mind was a jumbled mess of confusion. Through her haze of torment and disbelief, a small voice said; everything happens for a reason.

Bitterness coated her like hot wax. What reason could there possibly be for this to happen to her? It was pointless and cruel. Without the use of her legs, the life she’d planned would never happen.

I should have died in the car accident, she told herself harshly.

Only a month ago, she’d graduated from college with a teaching degree in early education. She’d wanted to help youngsters not only with their schoolwork, but she’d wanted to teach them about the world and all it had to offer. A knot formed in her stomach as she realized her dreams had just been crushed.

What did the world hold for her now? Humiliation and shame. Heartbreak and loneliness. She’d never be the person she had been. Things would need to be done for her the rest of her life.

***

Throughout her recuperation, the love and support she received from her family was amazing. Joe's sulking presence was a different matter. Whenever he came to see her in the hospital, his gaze lowered to the floor and he shuffled his feet nervously. He didn’t really seem to understand how to connect with her now that she lay in her hospital bed like a sparrow with broken wings. Unlike her parents and her sister’s constant rallying to help her remain optimistic, his visits were infrequent and short, his comments terse.

Joe never mentioned their wedding or their future together. Obviously, he didn’t want to spend a lifetime of being Ophelia's nursemaid. And of course, she couldn’t expect him to want that either. Yet, she felt betrayed. How could he do this to her after he’d said he loved her? Ophelia finally accepted the inevitable. The accident had ruined their relationship. During his last visit, she pulled off her engagement ring and handed it to him with trembling hands. As he pocketed the diamond and shuffled out of the room, it seemed her life had come to grinding halt.

By the time she got to the Havenwood Rehabilitation Center a month after the accident, her emotions had become a tangled mess of anger and self-pity. One morning as she sat in the dayroom watching television from her wheelchair, a middle-aged man dressed in jeans, a plaid flannel shirt and a white doctor’s coat sauntered up to her. His sandy brown hair and twinkling green eyes radiated with pleasant vibes. When he smiled, a bolt of warmth shot through Ophelia’s chilled core.

He held out his hand in a gesture of friendliness, and though misery seemed to rule her life these days, she held out hers too. His handshake was firm and businesslike, and his gaze offered encouragement.

“The name’s Jim Woolcroft. And you’re Ophelia Grant, right?”

She nodded, the warmth from his handshake giving her a glimmer of hope. She’d heard other patients talking about him and his unusual, but effective ways of helping people recuperate from serious injuries.

He smiled again, tiny crinkles forming around his cheerful eyes. “I hear you’ve refused treatment. How about I set you up with some of my therapy sessions? I promise, you won’t regret it.”

“Why go to the trouble? The doctors at the hospital told me I’d probably never regain use of my legs again.”

He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head. “And you believed them? Lady, you’ve got a lot to learn.”

Ophelia frowned at Dr. Woolcroft. “I’ve got a four-year college degree.”

He laughed. “That doesn’t mean squat except that you can sit in a chair, take tests and pass them. In the real world, you never stop learning and growing. It’s when you step outside of the classroom that you truly get an education.”

“Hmmph,” she said, unwilling to buy into his philosophy just yet.

“Are you too scared to try?”

“No, I just don’t want…” She trailed off, unable to put into words what she was thinking.

“To be disappointed?” Dr. Woolcroft answered for her.

She lowered her head and studied her hands resting in her lap. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her heart squeezed in agony.

“You may not be disappointed, Ophelia. But you’ll never know unless you try,” he said softly. “You’ve got to be willing to trust in yourself and your abilities. You’ll have to work hard to succeed. But in time, who knows what may happen?”

She swallowed a sob.

“The way I see it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain,” Dr. Woolcroft continued. “So how about you at least give it a try?”

In a trembling voice, she said, “Okay.”

For the next year, she pushed herself to perform as well as she physically could during Dr. Woolcroft’s therapy sessions. It was grueling, heartbreaking and laborious. She had to learn to use her hip flexor muscles and lower abs to move her legs. Her family took turns coming to cheer her on as often as they could. Dr. Woolcroft became her greatest supporter, and Ophelia discovered why so many of Havenwood’s patients had raved about his methods.

Because he never gave up on her, she decided not to give up on herself.

“You can do it,” he would call out confidently as she performed the various work outs he’d assigned.

Amazingly, the feeling began to come back, very slowly, to her legs. The tingling, tickling sensations filled Ophelia with joy. Even though tears of pain and frustration often ran down her face during her therapy sessions, she embraced the emotions. The process was agonizing and she had plenty of setbacks; nevertheless, she realized that day by day, she was slowly making progress.

The moment she walked with braces was one of great pride for Ophelia. And several years later, when the braces were gone and she finally realized her dream of becoming a teacher, she knew she would have a poignant wisdom to offer her students.

She realized Dr. Woolcroft had been right; it is outside of the classroom when you truly gain an education and learn about life. Also, if you work hard to reach a goal, you can eventually attain it. Only fear stands in the way between an individual and their success.

Never in a million years would she give up on herself again.

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES FOR WRITING SUCCESS

1.) Socialize and interact with others who have found success. For example, join a writers group or meet with other writers who have similar goals. In person is great, but if that’s not possible, even online groups can offer support and learning opportunities. Their motivation can be inspiring and help you achieve your dreams.

2.) Swimmers have them, athletes have them and actors have them. Coaches. These folks are great motivators, so seek out one to help you. It might be a friend or a family member who can be there for you. That way, when you’re feeling troubled, get in contact with that one person who believes in you and your abilities. It mixes your desire to succeed with the enthusiasm of another individual, giving both internal and external positive reinforcement.

3.) Remain optimistic, despite the setbacks that inevitably occur. How many times have you heard that the attitude you send out into the universe is what you receive back? Thus, if you feel you’ll never be successful, i.e. become a published author and constantly bemoan that fact, chances are, you’re drawing negative energy to yourself. So shrug off the depressive attitude and focus on the times when you overcame obstacles and accomplished something fantastic. Then expect more of the same good fortune. Even studies show this to be a successful strategy!

What is your favorite way to keep yourself encouraged in this crazy writing business? Do you have a mentor or some other person you can talk to? Do you have some special way of keeping yourself motivated? We’d love to hear!

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Ramming Speed!!!

2011-12-12T04:00:00.000-08:00

I DOUBLE DARE YOU TO HIT ME!

Hellfire and damnation it's crazy out there on the roads these days! Is it just me, or does it seem like that to you? I swear, someone's put a sign on the back of my Blazer that says RUN ME DOWN, FOOL!

Okay, so maybe I'm a tad bit paranoid. But wowza, two times this weekend, I was minding my own pea-pickin' little business, and other drivers were honking and shaking fists at me. Seriously, what is going on?

Maybe they're afraid I'll grab the last blue light specials at K-mart or buy up all of Walmart's price rollbacks, so they're trying to take me out before I beat them to the punch. Holiday gift buying can be a nasty business, as evidenced by all the tasing and arrests we recently heard about during the Black Friday fiascos. Honestly folks, I've done most of my Christmas shopping, so you can have all the stuff you want.

Meantime, I've still got those people on the road who are bound and determined to run me down. Maybe I'll put a bumper sticker on my truck that says, THIS VEHICLE EXPLODES ON IMPACT. Think maybe that will help?

Sheesh...

THE LIST

2011-12-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

INTO THE VOLCANO

It all started the weekend after Thanksgiving when I tried to dump one-year-old frozen turkey scraps down the growler to make room for new turkey scraps. It was early Sunday afternoon and I was finishing up THE LIST of things I needed to get done before going back to work Monday.

THE LIST was coming along really well, actually. I'd written several pages that morning on my new book, finished several loads laundry, mopped floors, washed my hair, washed the dog and...well, you get the picture.

Now I needed to clear out a bunch of frozen crap to make room for new frozen crap. I always have good intentions of making turkey soup, turkey pot pie, turkey ala-king, turkey whatever. It doesn't seem like I ever have any luck getting it accomplished, but the idea of doing it makes me feel all house-wifey and good inside.

Why do I do this to myself? All I really need is a couple of glasses of Zinfandel and I'd feel just as good, but you know how it is. My mother's favorite phrase, "Waste not, want not" and the thought of all the starving children in China or Africa or India keep me freezing my leftovers for future meals.

Anyway, back to the growler, otherwise known as ye-olde garbage disposal. Come to find out, the particular make and model I own doesn't cotton to greasy, frozen turkey. So it clogged up and regurgitated my offerings. Cursing and griping, I got a plunger and began plunging the muck. As the splashing contents gave my kitchen walls a new coat of paint, my husband appeared and took a turn plunging. After a bit, he walked off in disgust. I can't blame him. I know better than to feed the garbage disposal anything more than soppy cereal and scrambled eggs. It just isn't smart.

While hubby went out to purchase Drano, I prayed like hell the disposal would clear out with a few more plunges. Amazingly, it did. Of course, that episode put me hours behind schedule and several things from THE LIST didn't get finished that day.

People look at me like I've got snakes for hair when I tell them every second of every day of my life is planned down to the most minute detail. Like rare gold, every moment is precious. I have so many things I'm trying to accomplish. I'm working full time, I'm doing my best to write regularly, market my work, publish my work, promote my work, sell my work. Then there's living my "normal" life, which includes grocery shopping, picking up dry cleaning, exercising, filling the car with gas, washing the car, cooking dinner and numerous other mundane tasks, which include getting a little shut-eye on the side. Add Christmas and all the craziness that goes along with the holiday season and you've got a mad woman on your hands.

When a writer friend of mine sent me a Christmas gift that included a collection of adorable ceramic and wooden squirrels (our private joke) I lost it. How could I have forgotten to collect some squirrels for Elysa and get them sent to her for Christmas? Panic set it. How could I possibly have time to shop for something squirrely when I WAS GOING SQUIRRELY? And the post office lines. No way I had time for that rat race.

I swear, steam must have poured out of my ears. Disgusted with myself and all the things I needed to accomplish on MY LIST, I went to bed and dreamed of driving down the freeway in a covered wagon being pulled by a stubborn, fire-snorting buffalo.

Huh?

By the next morning, I realized something had to give. I needed help. So I called Figis and ordered a tin of nuts for my squirrel-loving friend and granted myself a reprieve from writing until after New Year's. Since I had no Christmas tree up yet and no time in the forseeable future to decorate one, I called in the cavalry and made arrangements with my granddaughters to help me put one up.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THIS RAMBLING?

It's simple. Sometimes we have to admit we can't do it all. We have to cut ourselves some slack and find ways to make our lives less complicated. And God forbid, maybe we can even allow ourselves a little time to relax. Things on THE LIST will be there tomorrow, or the next day or even the next. Unless the world's going to explode if we don't accomplish a few tasks, let them go. Or maybe ask someone for help getting them done. I say we should be able to take a few shortcuts now and then. If it saves our sanity and prevents a mental meltdown then it's worth it.

Does THE LIST in your life make you crazy? Or maybe you've found a good way to deal creatively with it. Either way, feel free to share your trials and tribulations.

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: My Secret Weapon

2011-12-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

OLD DUTCH

That's what my mom used to call me as a kid. Why? Old Dutch is a cleansing powder used for scrubbing the sink or bathtub or whatever. Isn't that sad? Instead of having my parents be proud of me because I was on the high school track team or because I performed an awesome piano recital, they were proud of me because I cleaned like a white tornado. I kept my room clean, I didn't come dragging in late after partying till all hours with my friends, and I embroidered dish towels and crocheted afghans for my hope chest.

Yee, gads, what kind of a teenager was I?

A weird one, that's for sure. Except for wanting to get married someday and having a family, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I'm still struggling with what I'm supposed to be doing in this world, and I didn't get the writer's bug till I was in my thirties. Now it's all I live, eat and breathe.

In the meantime, somebody's got to keep the house clean. That somebody is me. Show me something that needs cleaning, scrubbing, vacuuming, washing or organizing, I'll do it. I thought about getting a cleaning lady, but when I saw the price tag, I thought of a lot of other things I could be doing with that dough. Like having my nails and hair done or buying new clothes.

So I'm back on my knees scrubbing the floor again. And I'll share a secret about my powerful cleaning agent that's nonabrasive, nontoxic, inexpensive, smells great and it makes everything shiny. Oh, did I foget to mention it cuts bathtub scum, too?

Drumroll please: VO5 Shampoo. Yep. It's typically around a dollar or less for a bottle. I love, love, love it. It makes clean up around the house a breeze so I can get back to my real passion.

Writing.

Do you have a secret weapon you bring out to help you with your errands or household chores so you can finally get down to the business of creating our worlds on paper? Any ways of saving time or cutting corners? If you do, please share. There just might be something in your arsenal that will help the rest of us, so we'd really love to hear!

What Famous Author Would You Be?

2011-11-30T03:38:00.000-08:00

Consider the history of the world and all the authors it has produced. These talented individuals left a rich tapestry of literature for all of us to enjoy. I’ve thought long and hard about which one of these individuals I’d want to be, if it were possible. And of course I haven’t read about every writer that ever lived, but I’ve studied many.

There are so many to choose from, it's difficult to narrow down to just one. Because of her unconventional and independent lifestyle in an age where independent women were definitely not celebrated, I’ve chosen Mary Anne Evans. Born in Warwickshire, England, she lived from 1819 to 1880 and had seven novels published.

In order to be taken seriously as a novelist, she took the pen name George Eliot so people would believe her to be a man. Back then, the “stereotypical” female writer produced lighthearted romances and Eliot longed for a reading audience that expected more.

She led a scandalous love life and carried on with a married man during the straight-laced Victorian era, which surely couldn’t have been easy. She lived with her lover for more than 20 years, defying society’s expectations.

Here is a quote of hers that says so much in its brevity: “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.”

If you could be a famous novelist at some point in the world's history, who would you want to be and why?

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Presents from a Stranger

2011-11-28T04:00:00.000-08:00

IT'S OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS SEASON!

Got your shopping done?

I've got a good start on mine and lots of ideas for the rest, but the countdown's begun. I didn't go out on Black Friday, thank the stars. Heard it was a rootin' tootin' pepper-spray type of time. I can wait to do my shopping, thank you very much.

The season is about giving, which I love to do. We have a giving tree at my office with names on construction paper ornaments for people living at a local senior citizen's home. I usually take two of them and go shopping for what the folks want. When I have the opportunity, and as long as the money lasts, it's my time to give to others less fortunate.

I didn't start this tradition. It was my mom who taught me. Honestly, it wasn't just at Christmas, either. Her generosity lasted all year. She'd hear about a family down on their luck and she'd go on a shopping spree for them; food, clothing and toys for the little ones were purchased. One time she "adopted" an elderly woman by the name of Lola who lived above Mom's office in a tiny apartment with a hot plate.

Lola smelled and she used to suck her teeth after she ate. Grossed me out, you know? I was a ten-year-old kid and I didn't understand why mom had taken Lola under her wing. The crazy wind bag really annoyed me. Shame on me! In retrospect, I now understand why Mom helped Lola. Poor gal, for some reason, she had no family to care about her. She was all alone. It was a sad situation, and my Mom decided to take action and do something about it.

Because of her example, she gave my siblings and I the best presents ever. She taught us humility, compassion and kindness. Even though I didn't realize how precious those gifts were back when I was growing up, I'm always glad she gave them to me and to my brothers and sisters.

In honor of my Mom, I'll gladly take those Christmas ornaments from our office giving tree and go shopping for someone who can't do it for themselves. It makes me feel good, and I love to imagine the smiles on those people's faces as they receive gifts from a stranger. It's an empowering feeling to make a difference in someone's life.

It would be lovely if you would like to share the best Christmas present or presents you ever received. We'd all love to hear!

Ding-a-ling; Who's calling???

2011-11-22T19:55:00.000-08:00

When I see a 1-800 number on my home phone's caller ID, I typically don't want to speak with anyone on the other end of the line. So that my little dog Ewok doesn't start howling at the ringing noise (a weird habit she developed in the last few years) I hit the talk button then hang up on them. Sorry. I hate being disturbed by sales people or a howling dog after a long day at work.

Since I'm home this week and I have a little more time, I thought I'd conduct an experiment and see who the heck is calling my house all the time.

It started at 6:30 a.m. this morning. Some guy was on the other end and I wasn't very nice, was actually half asleep, when I answered.

"Do you know early it is?" I asked.

The guy muttered something and I hung up.

He called back.

"What on earth do you want?" I asked.

"I'm calling for Ron Keen," he said.

Huh? Since that's my ex-husband, I told him, "There's no one here by that name." I hung up once more.

The dude actually had the nerve to call AGAIN. I was about to pick up the phone and really let him have it, but he must have realized his error and hung up. Wise move.

Throughout the day, I received calls from many people, including some company wanting to know if I'd like an estimate on having my roof re-shingled and the American Heart Association. I told them all to remove my number from their call list. Any bets on whether they'll actually do it?

There numerous calls from the University of Wyoming, so many I forgot to count. Those I didn't answer. The caller ID showed who they were and I knew what they want; what they always want. Money.

Sometimes when I answered the call, there was nothing but dead silence on the other end of the line. Hmmm. I wonder who those were from and what the point was?

To make things worse, every time the damn phone rang Ewok howled like an Irish banshee. Apparently the sound hurts her ears. I thought I'd try putting the phone up to her snout so she could give the callers a dose of what I have to deal with every time the phone jangled, but once she saw the receiver, she shut down. Dang it anyway!

Now that I know who's calling, nobody important really, I will go back to not answering again. I don't think it was worth the time to screen all those useless calls, though it was interesting. Especially the 6:30 a.m. call for my ex-husband. If I hadn't been awakened from a sound sleep, I might have been in the right frame of mind to really have fun with that one.

A great opportunity missed. Oh well.

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Thanksgivings of Yesteryear

2011-11-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

Traditions. We've all got them, especially this time of year.

When I was a kid, I remember Mom's savory Thanksgiving feasts; the mouthwatering turkey and gravy, the pumpkin pie and all the trimmings. So I wouldn't be underfoot, she would sit me down at the kitchen table with crayons and a big sheet of butcher paper to create yet another hand-drawn picture of the original Thanksgiving feast with the Pilgrims and their Native American friends.

Every year, Mom declared the artwork a masterpiece. Then my family would eat our holiday meal and spend time together. If there was snow, we might go sledding. Sometimes, we'd play marbles on an old wooden game board. My family didn't have a lot of money, and there were six of us kids, but we had plenty of love to go around.

My first Thanksgiving as a young bride, I didn't quite cook the turkey long enough and poor Tom was rather pink. The pumpkin pies were burnt. There wasn't any sledding and no games with the family because I was a long way from home.

That was 33 years and a lifetime ago. My children are all grown and I now have grandchildren. Mom's gone, and I don't draw pictures of the first Thanksgiving any more. At some point, I realized I'm a sucky artist, but I can write. Good, bad or ugly, the stories keep coming. If Mom was still here, she would tell me every single one of them was a masterpiece because that's what Mom's do. They encourage us and keep us on track when we get out of line.

In honor of Mom, I'll be happy with "what is". My kids are doing good, and this year they are all Stateside, not stuck in Iraq or Afghanistan getting shot at. My granddaughters are awesome and the rest my family is doing well. Miraculously, my 89-year-old dad beat cancer. He was even out dancing the polka with my step-mom the other night.

Thanksgiving is different now, and we all miss Mom. But it will be good, you know? Family and friends who can make it to my house this year will all gather to share a meal and bow our heads to say a prayer for our blessings. Mom may not be present physically, but she'll be in our hearts.

To you and yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

Book Signing at the Cheyenne Depot, Saturday, Nov. 26

2011-11-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

BOOKSIGNING FOR A KILLER SLICE!

I've been invited to hold a book signing at the "Christmas at the Depot" event, which will be held Saturday, Nov. 26.

I'll have the latest book in the Saucy Lucy series, "A Killer Slice," as well as the first book in the series, "The Saucy Lucy Murders," and the second, "Paws-itively Guilty," available.

There will be lots to do, as well as the opportunity to get awesome Christmas gifts!

I hope to see you there.

Creating Fictional Characters that Endure Through the Ages

2011-11-16T04:00:00.001-08:00

Some writers have an amazing ability to create characters that endure in our minds long after the story ends. One of my favorite all time characters is Scarlett O’Hara in “Gone With The Wind.” You probably wonder why. Scarlett was spoiled and petty, arrogant and disrespectful. She didn’t have too many stellar qualities. What made her intriguing to not only me, but also many others?

Though she wasn’t a very nice person, and definitely not BFF material, she was believable. If we inspect the layers of Scarlett’s personality, we understand more about why she behaved the way she did. Margaret Mitchell developed her character according to what a southern belle’s life would have been like in pre-, during and post-Civil War. Mitchell didn’t just describe the silken bonnets, stiff, whale bone crinolines and starched white petticoats that defined women in that era. She ventured into deeper territory and taught us what a woman from a rich southern plantation family might have been like at that time, and how she would most likely react to having her entire world torn apart by such a terrible conflict.

In the beginning of GWTW, we get a good snapshot of how Scarlett was brought up on a southern plantation with privilege, wealth, and a high society lifestyle. To me, the brick in that plot was the onset of a bloody war that changed the norms for everyone in the United States. Mitchell’s portrayal of the clash between Scarlet’s personal desires and the war’s devastating effects is powerful and enduring. Because of this, Scarlett, for all her personal shortcomings, actually becomes sympathetic. She’s such a well-defined character that we can really understand why she behaves the way she does. I, for one, can never forget Scarlett’s famous declarations of “Balls of fire!” and “Fiddle-dee-dee.” One fascinating part of reading through that huge book was waiting to see whether Scarlett would ever get a clue and find out what was most important in life. In my opinion, she never really did, but she had an indomitable spirit, a strong will to survive and triumph, which are very redeeming. Think of her final words at the end, after she’d been through such tumultuous times: “Tara. Home. I'll go home, and I'll think of some way to get him (Rhett, the love of her life) back. After all, tomorrow is another day."

Now think of the fictional characters you’ve fallen in love with in fiction novels, comic books and the movies. For example, Harry Potter and his need to prove his worth as a wizard, even though he’s a mudblood. Indiana Jones, the bespectacled college professor who goes on great adventures to solve mysteries and find ancient relics. Or how about Iron Man, the billionaire playboy, industrialist and engineer who outsmarts his kidnappers. When they attempt to force him to build a weapon of mass destruction, he cleverly creates a special armored suit that helps him escape. Later on, the suit helps him protect the world.

HOW CAN WE CREATE UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTERS?

There’s really no set answer and different writers and instructors have different ideas. Here are my thoughts:

**Create characters who are believable, make them individuals people can relate to. It’s unrealistic to buy into the concept that a regular human being with no athletic ability could swim the English Channel and win a competition. That’s why you need to give your characters backgrounds and skills that jive with what you want them to do. For example, in my most recent mystery, I wanted to create a female detective with her own private investigator agency so she could be hired to locate a woman’s missing sister. If all Rhyss Golden had ever done was work at a hair salon, she would have a hard time knowing where to start such an investigation and she just wouldn’t have been believable. So I gave her a background as a former police officer, with ten years of experience in various departments. She’s got martial arts training in her resume, as well as being skilled with firearms. When she travels to Isla Del Mar, a small, fictional island in the Caribbean, her actions and abilities throughout the course of her investigation are completely plausible.

**Don’t make your characters perfect. It would be easy to create characters that did everything perfectly. They could walk, talk and act impeccably and have no character flaws. BORING! What readers, including myself, want to see in the books we read are characters who struggle to overcome the problems we as writers throw at them. If things were resolved instantly, well, there’s no story worth reading. So bring on the characters who have personal issues to overcome. Maybe they stop midsentence when they’re talking because the correct word just won’t come to them. Maybe they were once great athletes and due to an accident they lost an arm. Show us how this character must overcome depression and disappointment in order to overcome and compete again.

**Give your characters bad habits. We all know it’s not healthy to smoke, but people still do it. It’s also bad to be a nail chomper, yet many of us are stuck with that bad habit we can’t seem to break. Some people drink too much, some people drive too fast, others are obsessive compulsive. The list goes on. Give some of this stuff to your characters, but tailor it according to what would make their personalities more engaging or annoying, depending on the mood you want to create with them. Another example from my writing: Lexie Lightfoot in my Saucy Lucy trilogy develops terrible hiccups whenever she’s upset, frightened or over excited. It’s annoying, sure, but it’s also funny, and these happen to be humorous stories. There is a scene in the first book where she’s hiding from the murderer and bam! The hiccups hit. It makes for some tense moments as she tries to cover up the awful noise so she doesn’t get busted.

Something I’ve always found helpful is to “interview” my characters, such as I would for one of the profile pieces I do for the school newspaper I write for. I write all of this down in a notebook, or you can be a bit fancier and type up the profiles. However you do it, these come in handy to refer to as you write the book. In these profiles, you can flesh out any number of things about your characters such as hair and eye color, height, where they live, what they like to eat, favorite movies, etc. You can go into depth as much as you’d like on this and I even find pictures in magazines of what I think they look like so I can envision them as real people. As you write your book, you will discover different things about your characters that you will want to incorporate later on, but the initial profile makes a good starting point so your characters “come to life” at the very beginning.

Most importantly, when you interview your characters, you should be able to find out, according to your plot, what their problem is. What character traits do they have that will make their problem difficult to resolve? By the end of the story, what is it do they want to accomplish or resolve?

There are many different ways to develop your characters, with no magic answers as to how to do it. My final suggestion is to learn what works best for you. Honestly, the more you write, the easier it gets.

Do you have any favorite books that brought to life special characters? Why do you love them? If you have ideas about characterization that you’d like to share with the rest of us, please pass them along!

A Killer Slice is Available on Amazon!

2011-11-15T11:55:00.000-08:00

It's exciting! At last, the print version of A Killer slice is available on Amazon, with the Kindle version soon to follow. Here's the big long link...scroll down a few books and you'll see mine:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=a+killer+slice

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: The Perfect Life

2011-11-14T04:00:00.001-08:00

Where's my perfect life? I've worked like the devil to have one, but no matter what I do or where I go, I'm still stuck with the same old me at the end of the day. And I promise you, that's no bed of roses. --Aunt Gladys

HARD TO ADMIT FOLKS, BUT I'M NOT PERFECT!

Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by individuals who poke their noses in the air and do their best to lead everyone to believe they are perfect. Well, maybe that statement is over the top, but you know what I mean.

These individuals are the beautiful people, the ones who walk on water and not a hair on their head is ever ruffled. Everything seems to fall into place for them. Back in high school, they were the cheerleaders and jocks. We are never allowed to see what goes on behind the proverbial curtains in their lives, which could in fact be very complicated. On the surface, they appear to have it all. Deep down, we all know that's just not possible. Yet the appearance of their perfect lives may irritate us. On occasion we find out these perfect people don't have the easiest lives. When that happens to me, I'm ashamed for feeling so petty.

LESSON 1) We've got to learn to be happy with what we have.

I consider myself one of "us," one of the millions of people who walk this earth and have just enough to be satisfied and comfortable. I'm not fabulously wealthy, but I have enough to give what I can to charity. I don't have a stupendous career like a movie star where everybody knows my name, but I enjoy my work and I'm proud of what I do. Nobody's standing in line to touch the hem of my robe, but my friends and family say they enjoy spending time with me and I look forward to meeting new people.

I'm happy, and isn't that what's most important?

I guess the moral of this story is to realize that everything that glitters is not gold and we need to appreciate every day. November is the month when we take pause to give thanks. Whether our lives are perfect or not so perfect, we are still here to live them, and that's got to be good, right?

What things in your life do you appreciate having and why?

A Celebration of Blogging

2011-11-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

I am humbled.

My blog, featuring Aunt Gladys and her mouthy, off-beat humor received The Versatile Blogger award this week from Lara Schiffbauer of Motivation for Creation.

Lara ventured into the blogosphere months before I did, and she has blazed a trail that I decided to follow. She's taught me a lot and keeps me on task for creativity and thought process. As a social worker for the school district where I work, she is very much in touch with people and has deep emotion and compassion that reaches out to one and all.

The rules for receiving the Versatile Blogger is that you thank the person who gave it to you (check!), you give seven facts about yourself and then pass the award on to up to fifteen other bloggers, if you can.

I'm always in a hurry. I think to myself, "Go faster, faster, faster before life passes you by!"
I'm a nervous Nelly, which makes me a a nail chomper galore. If I don't have my solar nails done every couple of weeks, my fingenails would be a bloody, ragged mess. It's a rather expensive habit, but I MUST HAVE THEM.
For a couple of years on grade school, I played clarinet. Hated every minute of it! I would have much preferred to learn the violin, like my granddaughter Alora is now getting a chance to do.
By nature, I'm painfully shy and prefer keeping to myself rather than mingling in a crowd. By career choice (public relations) I've been forced to come out of my shell and learn to enjoy people. Now, I talk too much and too fast!
I love to travel and I've lived in Oregon, Washington state, Wyoming, Nebraska, Utah, Texas and South Dakota. I also lived for five years in Misawa, Japan. I've visited the Philippines, Samoa, both the eastern and western Carribbean. In the spring, I'll be traveling to Hawaii for my daughter's wedding.
Back in the day, when I had more time, I was quite the gourmet cook. These days I'm too busy. I slam food together so fast, my cooking can get very gross. For example, my daughter once opened my refrigerator and found Kool-Aid with mold floating around on the top. Believe me, I do not drink that stuff, but my son did and he hadn't visited in months. I guess that explains the mold. I also once burned tomato soup. OMG it smelled terrible in the house for a week. My hubby still ribs me about that.
I love animals and I've always had a little doggie around to keep me company. Heck, I even think my neighbor's dog likes my house better than his own because I spoil him like crazy when he busts out of his fence and comes to visit.

Here is who I'm passing the award to. As a newbie to blogging, I haven't gotten around too much so I only have a few blogs to list, but they are all awesome.

Blaze McRob's Tales of Horror - These stories are truly creepy, but Blaze puts messages in each of them that make you stop and think about life. If you like horror, Blaze's talented musings are for you.
Terry's Place - Terry conducts great interviews, takes you on field trips with lovely photos and also offers great writing advice.
T.K. Millin, The Unknown Author - This site has great interviews and lots of fun stories, posts and updates from an author's perspective.
Susan Whitfield's Blog - A mystery writer from South Carolina, Susan is an author I greatly admre. Along with her numerous titles, Susan collected recipes from fellow authors, yours truly included, and published a recipe book called, "Killer Recipes." Proceeds from this great endeavor go toward cancer research.
The Author Spot - Stacey Turner offers good interviews with people, book reviews, and I enjoy her perspective on the writing world.
Patricia Stoltey - Pat conducts awesome interviews with interesting authors and she offers good information on crime writing and life in general.
Geraldine's Corner - Geraldine Solon offers great writing information and believes in professional networking, which is something I know is a very powerful tool for an author.

Thank you Lara for this award!

Classic Storytelling Flow

2011-11-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

CINDY'S SEVEN INGREDIENT RECIPE FOR WRITING A GOOD STORY

There are definitive segments to a story plot that make it entertaining and engaging and I've attempted to outline them for you. If you keep your ideas on track, you can continue to work on your story without too many stopping points and eventually churn out a good and hopefully sellable book. Refer to the story arc as you read through this so you can have a roadmap. (Hey, I know it’s a rough sketch! My artistic skills need some fine tuning. Google "story arc" for better examples out there.)

THE SEVEN INGREDIENTS:

1.) It’s all good; status quo

The first pages reveal a snapshot of your main characters’ life where everything’s running smoothly. Maybe they are with their family watching a baseball game, maybe grocery shopping, maybe taking that bath we talked about last time. Set the scene so the reader has a good idea of your world, but don’t go on for too long about mundane things. Important bits and pieces can be revealed as the story progresses.

2.) Brick through the glass window event (The beginning)

This is my favorite part. Think of it as the beginning of an event at a swim meet where the official toots that annoying horn. Anyway, a bizarre event occurs and your main character is extremely concerned, but cannot resolve it easily. Thus the story is off to a compelling start. Maybe there’s an unexplained fire, someone close to your main character goes missing, someone is murdered, or maybe it’s something pleasant like your main character wins the lottery and the story revolves how they will spend it, good, bad or ugly. Right now since I’m into The Walking Dead TV show, I’m thinking of the virus that turned so many people into zombies as the brick through the window. For your story, envision a scenario where the call to action compels your characters to do something; solve the murder, find the missing person, discover who set the fire and why.

3.) A journey begins (More beginning; the plot is thickening)

The brick through the window causes characters to start on a mission where there is an ultimate goal which will resolve an issue. In the Walking Dead, folks are desperate to get away from the zombies and find a new home and other survivors so they can hopefully start over.

4.) A long and winding road (The middle; the plot is heating up and begins to boil)

Again, using the Walking Dead as an example, as the story intensifies and the plot complicates with various life-altering events, interested viewers are drawn into the conflict. Every Sunday night I tune in so I can see what happens next and I’m anxious for the characters to be able to resume a normal existence where they can be happy again. Never in my life did I think I’d be interested in zombies! But the writers working on this his series are very creative with their unexpected, but believable plot twists and turns. Good and bad decisions are made, things don’t go easy for any of the characters. Both good and bad things happen because of those decisions.

5.) Get ready; it’s the big black moment (Like dynamite, the plot explodes with tension)
My high school AP English teacher, Mr. Peterson, would be proud of me because I’m going to describe what a denouement (day-nu-maw) is. Ok, it’s a crude pronunciation, but it works, right? Merriam Webster’s dictionary describes it as the final outcome of the main dramatic complication of a literary work or the outcome of a sequence of events. It is French in origin, which is why I love the exotic sound of it and why I remember it after all these years. Characters choices or decisions have brought all the story events to a head, or a climax. For example, in my soon-to-be published book, "A Killer Slice," the bad guy has one of my main characters, Lexie, cornered in a funeral parlor and if she doesn’t act quickly to get the upper hand, things will go badly for her and Sister Lucy. My next book, "The Seven-Year Witch," which will be published early next year, events at the story climax have progressed to a dangerous point because one of my main characters, Max, is dying in Miranda’s (the witch’s) arms because he’s sacrificed himself to bring her the Philosopher’s Stone. She has to make a critical decision, which later determines the end of the story.

6.) It’s all coming together (The plot begins a natural, downward trek)

When it’s time for a story to wind down, pivotal events in the characters' lives and the characters' choices about them will determine the future outcome of the book, whether it’s a tragic or positive. Things begin to get resolved; mysteries are unraveled, motivations are revealed. I really hate to read a book and feel like the author got in a hurry and slammed together some illogical events to conclude the story, probably because they had a deadline looming. I liked Jodi Picoult’s book, “My Sister’s Keeper,” but the ending seemed rushed and wasn’t very believable, especially the medical outcome. I just didn’t buy it. When it was made into a movie, it seemed somebody may have decided the same thing and the end changed dramatically. I won’t ruin it for you, but if you have a chance to read “My Sister’s Keeper,” then watch the movie, let me know what you think.

7.) All good things must come to an end

The problem has been resolved; characters have grown or learned something important, everything’s back to normal or possibly a “new” normal. At last, the story is over.

If you have suggestions to add or ideas that have worked for your writing, please share. Same thing if you have any questions; fire away!

Oops, I did it again!

2011-11-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH

Oops, I did it again! I put my big damn foot in my mouth. How many of you have ever done that? During a recent book club meeting with my reader friends in Moose Creek Junction, I patted my stomach and asked one of the ladies when her baby was due. Well, you can guess it can't you? The lady is not with child, and she quietly let me know. Barf city! How could I make such a stupid mistake! I quickly apologized and moved on to another topic of discussion. Man, I wanted to crawl under the table and hide during the entire meeting.

I promise never to screw up like that again, and I'll be real careful in the future to watch my mouth. Unfortunately, we've probably all mouthed off or done something stupid at one time or another, haven't we? My advice; pull up your big girl (or boy) pants and apologize, then quickly change the topic. Don't let it bother you for too long, even though it surely will. We're all on this earth to learn how to be better people, and when something like this happens, it's definitely a teaching moment.

Still, during that horrible meeting, my face remained red with embarassment! So, share your experiences with me, if you've ever had a similar one. How did you save face?

What is a Scene or Chapter? Organize Your Thoughts...

2011-11-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

When organizing their books, writers commonly question what constitutes a scene, and what constitutes a chapter. So here’s my two cents, and I hope some part of it will help you with your novel. If not, c'est la vie!

SCENE STRUCTURE

In a nutshell, something important is going down in a scene. Something vital that will move your story forward toward the next scene, and so on, and so on. There’s typically high emotion, either happiness, sadness or something that conveys an important activity or conversation between characters that is necessary to the plot. It would be pretty boring if writers wrote scenes where characters did nothing more than take a bath or watch TV or read the newspaper for three pages and nothing of importance happened.

Turn up the volume and imagine that same character in the bathtub; someone creeps up behind her and slits her throat. That's a scene that will keep readers engaged--just make sure it follows along with your plot line. Say your character is watching TV and he sees a woman he recognizes as his dead wife being interviewed on camera in Japan in the aftermath of an earthquake; that would make for some intrigue. And finally if a character is reading a newspaper article about a million dollars being stolen from a bank, and the photo of the bank robber turns out to be his sweet little granny from Alabamy, well, we’ve got something cooking. Here’s another one, maybe your main character is at the dentist getting her teeth cleaned. Pretty boring stuff, huh? Let’s say her dentist staggers into the examining room, blood gurgling from his mouth and a butcher knife is sticking out from between his shoulder blades. Does that grab your interest? Again, these can't be random events, but all must play into your story plot.

Scenes are small snapshots of time shown to the reader that are all connected to your story plot. Each snapshot needs to reveal something that leads the reader to the next important snapshot. All of the snapshots should tell time, place, give description and reveal who your main characters are and what they want to accomplish or what they need. By the end of the book, you should have constructed an album of snapshots that tell a complete story. In a romance, boy gets girl. In mystery, murder is solved. You get the idea, right?

I was taught to have a hook at the beginning of a scene that draws your reader in and makes them want to find out what happens next. There should also be a hook at the end of the scene that leaves the reader hanging and urges them to continue on to the next scene, then the next chapter, and ultimately to the end of the book.

CHAPTER STRUCTURE

Inquiring writer minds want to know how many scenes per chapter? I typically put in two to three scenes that are four to five pages in length. My chapters are usually twelve to twenty pages long. I got my fingers slapped, and not very nicely, for the lengthy scenes in my first published book. The editor was not pleased by them and upon editing, she shortened a few, which added a couple of chapters to the book. That’s just the way that particular publishing house liked their books done, so it didn't really bother me.

In the multitude of books I’ve read, I’ve found long chapters of twenty five pages or more and I’ve found very short chapters of five to seven pages. Bottom line: if the book is good, I’ll read it no matter what and I believe most readers feel the same. These days I find myself writing tighter, shorter chapters. With limited time on my hands, I also enjoy being able to read shorter chapters.

KNOCK ‘EM DEAD IN YOUR FIRST CHAPTER

Sometimes all an editor or agent will ever see of your work is the first few pages of your first chapter. If they don’t like it immediately, it gets pitched. So make this part shine! As with all your chapters, do your best to polish that sucker until you squint when you’re looking at it. (Do not rely on spell check and grammar check for editing your manuscript as it won’t pick up everything; so print out a hard copy and PROOFREAD. I realize it kills a tree to print a long manuscript, but it’s important because things on screen look way different on the page. Self-editing is a vital part of the writing process.)

Here’s a quick reference for setting up that crucial first chapter. Make sure you “paint” your story with rich description, characterization and emotion.

1. Bring your main players onto the stage and describe them so the reader can relate to them via a story-building incident or perhaps witty dialog.
2. Let the reader know right away what the problem is and explain through your characters why they should care how it will get resolved.
3. Embroider a colorful tapestry of setting. Perhaps it’s a small town in Anywhere, USA, and autumn colors tinge the tree-covered hills with burnt orange and crimson. Maybe the first scene starts in a recently purchased Lexus—describe the leather upholstery that gives off a new-car smell. Outside the window, snow-topped mountain peaks loom, projecting a wintery feel, while inside the vehicle the heat is on full blast…

Okay, that might sound corny but again, you get the idea.This is your very own world, you get to hang the moon, so to speak. You’re in the driver’s seat and it’s an exciting feeling.

MOVING FROM ONE SCENE TO THE NEXT, AND THEN MOVING ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER

Be careful to connect the story in a cohesive format when moving from one scene to the next, and from one chapter to the next. Do your best to explain what’s happening so the reader can maintain the thread of the story. Following a story arc is helpful and I plan to discuss that next week.

A SATISFYING FINAL CHAPTER

This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. It's where questions to your mystery are solved, where your hero and heroine finally clear away all barriers so they can be together or basically, no matter what genre your book is, when the quest is over. All good things must come to an end, so they say, and your story does too. Keep this in mind, readers get upset and feel cheated if you haven’t finished up with a believable dénouement, or ending. They hate it when some neat contrivance comes up, solves everything, and the author says, THE END. Even though you may be anxious just finish the damn book, don’t drop the reader on his or her head. I guarantee they won’t want to read any more of your work. So remember to design your conclusion just as carefully as the rest of your story.

Here's some homework: go back and look at a couple of your favorite books and try to see how the author has put the story together from scene to scene, from chapter to chapter and finally the ending. What made you want to keep reading? Why do you like it and what would you like to emulate in your own writing? What do you want to bring to your readers? Do you want to make them happy? Sad? Contemplative? Thankful? Give this some thought and decide your unique message.

If you have any favorite books that demonstrate what you like to read and what you like to write, please share! Also, if you have favorite books on the writing craft that helped you, pass the names and authors along. Thanks for stopping by!

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Trick-or-Treat!

2011-10-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

What is the creepiest Halloween you've ever experienced in your life? At seven years old, I remember straggling along in a witch's costume in a Union Pacific Railroad town called Ayre, which is no longer in existence because a few years after my family moved it was buried in a reservoir.

Back to that Halloween, I knocked on a door and this old guy in moth-eaten, smelly old clothes with a gap-toothed smile appeared and began handing out candy. Gave me the chills! He didn't even need to dress up to be scary.

Turn out the lights and take a stroll down memory lane. Share your most frightning experience on All Hallows Eve. If you haven't ever had one, maybe this will be your scariest year yet! Boo,hoo, hoo, ha, ha, ha....

Whose head are you in when you're writing? And what perspective do you have?

2011-10-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

READERS WILL BECOME INVESTED IN CLEARLY DRAWN CHARACTERS AND A STRONG WRITING VOICE

Admittedly, when I started writing my first book way back when, I just wrote, and wrote, and wrote. For some reason, I didn't want to pay attention to the craft part. The world was moving too fast with all the excitement of actually "writing my book." I didn't want to mess with all that "stuff" and I thought I had an instant bestseller.

Looking back, I think book number one was fairly decent, and I got some publishing houses to actually look at it. But their comments back to me were along the lines of "It's not quite right for us," and "It needs some work, but the story is there..." To date, the book remains unpublished as were several other attempts I made. The beginnings of my voice were in the manuscripts, but unfortunately, too many technical errors hid them from view. Too many to list in one blog, so I'll stick to just a couple that are absolutely vital to telling a good story.

Point of view (POV) and perspective. When I started hammering at the computer keys and telling stories, I was all over the map with my head-hopping habits. One minute my voice lived in one person's head, then in the next sentence I switched to another person's perspective. I had my narration skills all skewed, too, and I was uncertain whether I was telling the story in first- or third-person perspective.

INDUSTRY PREFERENCES FOR POINT OF VIEW AND NARRATIVE

What I share here is only what I've seen in my experience and it is by no means a set rule. For the romance genre, the industry usually requires a POV from both the hero and the heroine, intermingled as the story progresses, in the third-person perspective. "She wanted to let him know how she felt." "He decided she was the loveliest woman he'd ever met."

In mystery, I've seen both first-person perspectives: "I wanted to find out why the detective was investigating the murder," and the third-person perspective: "He wanted to find out why the detective was investigating the murder." Here, I've seen multiple POVs or just a single POV. This depends entirely upon how the author prefers to write.

Science fiction and fantasy use either multiple POVs of maybe just a main character's POV. The same goes for horror, women's fiction and any other genres I've read. I've seen both first-person and third-person perspective as well. Again, it depends on the author's preference.

READERS WILL BECOME INVESTED IN CLEARLY DRAWN CHARACTERS AND APPRECIATE A STRONG WRITING VOICE

Decide early on, before you begin to write your book, the heads of the characters you want to occupy and what they bring to the story. For example, are their thoughts vital to the plot line and the story? Do their thoughts help to identify your main character or characters' motivations?

Typically with first-person, the book is only written from your main character's POV. Though I did read a Jodi Picoult story where she had several characters tell various parts of the story from a first-person perspective in different chapters. It was a unique set up and as a reader I really became invested in each person's motivations and feelings.

Be careful to stick with your chosen perspective throughout the book (first- or third-person.) Be careful not to mix POVs in the same paragraph. Whenever I want to have multiple POVs, such as in the romances I have written, I stick to living in one head per scene, or perhaps one head per chapter. You can switch heads throughout a scene, if you choose, but make it clear to the reader that you've switched into another person's thoughts or the reader may become frustrated. The next time you’re reading a fiction book, decide how the writer as utilized POV and perspective. It will help with your own storytelling.

Now, go forth and write! Remember that old cliché: Practice makes perfect. What tricks and tips have you discovered that help make POV and perspective flow in your writing? No matter what stage we’re at in our writing career, new ideas help us unleash our inner writer, so please share.

Thank you for stopping by!

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Take This Job and Shove It!

2011-10-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

WHAT'S THE WORST JOB YOU'VE EVER HELD?

I think we've all had them--stinky jobs. Even me, the ex-Las Vegas showgirl had some real winners. Talk about paying your dues. I've done it.

The worst job that I ever recall having was at the XYZ Meat Packing Plant. The place was filthy and swarming with flies. The office equipment was greasy and broken down. My boss was a loud-mouthed idiot and when I got down to going through all the papers on the desk, they were past due bills. My jerk-meter started clanging real loud. I figured if these jokers couldn't pay their bills, they wouldn't be able to pay me.

BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

There was a glass window on one side of the office where I could see the meat cutters tossing around chunks of meat like baseballs. Seriously. Can we san UNSANITARY?

Needless to say, I went home at noon and never came back. I never regretted my decision and I never apologized. The place just didn't feel right, you know?

Now, it's your turn to share. What was your worst job ever? Do tell!

Building Blocks: Learning the Writing Craft

2011-10-19T04:37:00.000-07:00

FINDING YOUR WRITING STRIDE BY LEARNING THE FUNDAMENTALS

My friend and fellow bloggger, Lara Schiffbauer, http://www.motivationforcreation.blogspot.com/ recently posted a list of excellent craft books to learn writing fundamentals. I'm also going to add another that's been around a long time: "GMC, Goal, Motivation and Conflict, The Building Blocks of Good Writing," by Debra Dixon, which I see is still available ( I checked online at Barnes and Noble and Amazon). That book really helped me learn how to craft scenes that matter and build an engaging book. It became my bible.

Writing manuals help a writer learn manuscript structure so when you're ready, you have a product to market that is acceptable to the industry. That includes formatting, margins, chapters, etc. As far as the writing groups and conferences, when you attend, be in absorb mode. Listen to advice that seems right for you, read, and listen to all the writing instruction. Then go back home and do what works for you.

When you start out writing, it's like you're a gifted baby learning about the the exciting "writing" world around you. You explore the surroundings--your writing attempts are fresh and new. You're anxious to walk! Hopefully there's someone there who will help you learn. You can always benefit from experimenting with something new and it helps you to blossom as a writer, even when you've been at it a while. But especially when you're starting out, there are things you can do to help grow your writing along with your desire to publish. Listen to advice from successful writers, research writing manuals, attend classes, seek out writing groups, sign up for writing conferences and if you can find one, join a good critique group. Remember that old phrase, "No Man is an Island." You're not either. Even Daniel in "The Karate Kid" had to be tutored on how to hone his skills and intuition, even though he had the spirit of a strong warrior crouching inside.

The feedback from your co-writing professionals is great. With this process, as time goes on, you learn to incorporate helpful advice and leave the not-so-helpful advice on the table. With practice, you will eventually hit your stride and learn what works best for you.

Set goals and stick to them. Write every day if you can. If you have setbacks, don't stress. Life happens around us and we have to take care of things in order to move on to our writing. Just get back in the saddle and start up again when you can. Everyone follows a different path, so try not to compare yourself to others, even though we all do. It's part of being human because we're all competitive in nature. Just do your best to focus on what you want and keep your eye on the prize!

Thanks for stopping by! If you have any questions about writing or ideas you'd like to share, please feel free to do so. If this Blogger site is acting acting up and you're having trouble commenting, you can typically log in as Anonymous and leave your name in the body of your comment.

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: What's your favorite monster movie?

2011-10-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

Do not give me any crap. I know it's only Sunday night, but I've got full day tomorrow and I won't have time to post. I'm off the to the spa and I've got a mani/pedi scheduled, a facial, mud wrap, massage, and much more. A girl's got to primp, right?

My favorite time of year is almost upon us: Halloween! Yay! And there's nothing I like better than spine tingling good fun watching monster movies. Make me laugh like a goon, make me shake in my boots. I love it all.

If I had to choose my all-time favorite, it would be "Love at First Bite" with Susan Saint James and George Hamilton as the kooky vampire who loved her. A close second would be "Young Frankenstein," with Gene Wilder. (I gravitate toward the zany, slapstick comedy, it appears and I'm also showing my age.) Don't get me wrong, blood and guts have their place. For example, "Alien" with Sigourney Weaver. That movie haunted me for days. And who could forget "From Dusk Till Dawn" with George Clooney? All of these are great fun and I love getting caught up in it.

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite monster movie and why? Do tell...

2011-10-13T05:30:00.000-07:00

"A Killer Slice," will be out soon! The third book in my Saucy Lucy mystery series. Yay!

"I'm giving 'er all I've got, Captain!"

2011-10-12T05:03:00.000-07:00

Seek writing inspiration from your surroundings. Utilize the five senses--touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. It's like being in a writing workshop without paying the fees.

Okay, I realize it's not easy to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, when you're planted in front of a computer monitor in your office (or writing space). Believe me, I know how it feels. You want to move forward with the words and sentences, but you realize you need to paint the scenery for your readers so they can become emotionally invested in your story. Here's an idea. While you're going about your daily life, try to remember various sensory experiences to use for that perfect writing moment.

For example, the next time you're out in the garden, smell the flowers, watch the bees zipping around. What does the buzzing sound like? Maybe you got stung, how did it feel? What do the bees look like? Maybe like tiny yellow and black pirates on a voyage to collect their nectar booty. (I looked it up. Yep, bees collect nectar, which they turn into honey. Pollen collects on their legs...)

What about the tomatoes, ready to be harvested? Do the bushy, emerald green plants have a musky smell, and does the fruit have a ruby red skin? Maybe the hail's gotten to the tomatoes, so their foliage is battered and limp, the fruit marred with black streaks. The surface of the tomatoes feel bumpy and rough. You may think the poor things look like they've gone several rounds in the boxing ring with a prize fighter.

Let's say you're running through the rain to get to the car. Maybe you don't have an umbrella or coat and you get caught in an awful downpour. How does the water feel as it hammers your head? Do your bangs matt down on your forehead, and does water drip into your eyes so everything's blurry? Maybe you feel like the heavens are conspiring against you and they've decided you deserve to have your expensive new purse ruined or your new Stetson morphed into the shape of a tortilla.

Here's something that happened to me once. I was in a restaurant when some girl, irritated with her boyfriend, gave him a couple of spurts of pepper spray. Needless to say, the boyfriend wasn't the only one who suffered. My eyes watered. My throat closed up, I couldn't stop coughing and I could barely catch a breath. The restaurant was evacuated because all the patrons were hacking and coughing. It was a pain to go through, but good stuff to draw on.

Light bulb moment: maybe envision the memories going into a jump drive plugged into your brain. Whatever works for you. Then open these files when you're writing scenes to add in a realistic touch. Believe me, readers will appreciate it and so will editors and agents. They are looking for active scenes that burst off the page, scenes that grab them and take them running from the beginning. Scenes that are flat and unrealistic will get your manuscript tossed into the XYZ file. I know. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out doing housework,

So like Scotty kept saying to Captain Kirk in about every episode and the movies, (I'm a trekkie fan, can you tell?) "I'm givin' 'er all I've got, Captain."

Be like Scotty and give your writing all you've got, too!

How do you keep yourself inspired to write active scenes? What types of things do you do to infuse your writing with color and realism? Feel free to comment and share your ideas. New and different ideas are helpful for all of us.

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Share your gripes!

2011-10-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone!

So here's my Monday gripe. I was backing out of a space in a parking lot the other day, and I was going really slow, and I was way far out. It was tough to see around other parked cars, but honest, I was watching as closely as my frickin' bifocals would let me.

Lo and behold, this crazy woman driving like a bat out of hell appears. When I saw her, I slammed on the brakes. But she kept on going. I mean, cheese and crackers, she plowed into me like she didn't even see me. Scre-e-ech! Scared the bejabbers out of me!

Frenchie's poor Lincoln Continental took the worst of the damage. Bent the bumper like a pretzel. Of course, since I was backing out, I lost my right of way and it's my bad. Okay, I get that part. But whatever happened to common courtesy? Sheesh! When I see someone's backed out that far in a parking lot, I generally slow down and stop until they can get out all the way.

But listen up kiddies! I guess there are new rules of the road. Whenever you see someone backing out like that, shift into warp speed, step on the gas and hit 'em! It'll be their fault and they have to fix your car.

No, seriously, don't listen to me. I'm just allowing sour grapes to mess with my head. I had a bad week, you know? My real advice is to be kind and courteous to your fellow drivers. Even if others behave like &&%%$$ wipes, do your best to ignore them and do the right thing. Good karma is sure to come your way.

So, what's your gripe of the week? What caused bad ju ju to enter your life? What ticked you off big time? You can comment here and vent all you want. I promise, no one's going to judge you, but you will enjoy getting the frustration off your chest.

Congratulations to Shannon Young Chaffe who submitted the winning ending to my story, The Cellar, last Monday:

Who is that knocking at my door? (quoth the raven nevermore mwaaahhaaaahhhaaa)

October 3 at 8:20am ·

Shannon, to claim your prize, e-mail your address to me at littlewing1959@bresnan.net and I'll send your winnings to you via snail mail. Thanks for following my blog!

Aunt G's Mystic Monday: Share your gripes!

2011-10-10T05:27:00.000-07:00

Delete

Hey there everyone!

So here's my Monday gripe. I was backing out of a space in a parking lot the other day, and I was going really slow, and I was way far out. It was tough to see around other parked cars, but honest, I was watching as closely as my frickin' bifocals would let me.

Lo and behold, this crazy woman driving like a bat out of hell appears. When I saw her, I slammed on the brakes. But she kept on going. I mean, cheese and crackers, she plowed into the back of my car like she didn't even see me. Scre-e-ech! Scared the bejabbers out of me!

Frenchie's poor Lincoln Continental took the worst of the damage. Bent the bumper like a pretzel. Of course, since I was backing out, I lost my right of way and it's my bad. Okay, I get that part. But whatever happened to common courtesy? Sheesh! When I see someone's backed out that far in a parking lot, I generally slow down and stop until they can get out all the way.

But listen up kiddies! I guess there are new rules of the road. Whenever you see someone backing out like that, shift into warp speed, step on the gas and hit 'em! It'll be their fault and they have to fix your car.

No, seriously, don't listen to me. I'm just allowing sour grapes to mess with my head. I had a bad week, you know? My real advice is to be kind and courteous to your fellow drivers. Even if others behave like &&%%$$ wipes, do your best to ignore them and do the right thing. Good karma is sure to come your way.

So, what's your gripe of the week? What caused bad ju ju to enter your life? What ticked you off big time? You can comment here and vent all you want. I promise, no one's going to judge you, but you will enjoy getting the frustration off your chest.

Congratulations to Shannon Young Chaffe who submitted the winning ending to my story, The Cellar, last Monday:

Who is that knocking at my door? (quoth the raven nevermore mwaaahhaaaahhhaaa)
October 3 at 8:20am ·

Almost There!

2011-10-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

A Killer Slice is nearly finished! After I uploaded the manuscript interior to Create Space a couple of weeks ago, my project team prepared a PDF for me to review. It looked great, so I approved it. Then I uploaded the cover art, which had been prepared by my designer, Chris Arneson, according to the cover specifications available on my member dashboard. Shortly after I uploaded it, the project team sent me an e-mail explaining they had to adjust the spine size slightly to accommodate the page count, but that it was simple enough and there was no extra charge. Yipee!

A few days ago I received an e-mail with instructions about where to go on my member dashboard to set up where I want royalty payments to be deposited. I filled out the page with my savings account information. There are two reasons I chose to have royalties go there. Even though I feel Amazon is trustworthy, I feel safer having payments sent to my savings. Also, here isn't a lot of activity on my savings account except for two deposits a month from my work paychecks, so I can easily track royalty payments. Since I do all my banking online, I can look up the status at any time. Cool!

Yesterday I got an e-mail from my project team explaining that a physical proof had been ordered and it would take about five working days for me to receive it. Today I received an e-mail with instructions on how to review the proof and what things to look for such as widows and orphans, etc. I'm pretty familiar with the process because my office prints many different publications. Now I'll just sit back and watch for the mailman to bring me my copy to read through. Thank goodness we still have snail mail for that part!

2011-10-03T04:30:00.000-07:00

Aunt G's Mystic Monday

Cindy finally got me out of the closet (literally) so I could guest blog. Isn't she a dear! So here I am with hopefully the first of many Mystic Mondays. Since I have a short-term memory, as those of you who read the Saucy Lucy series know, I'm going to write a short story.

Here's the deal. Once I've started, I'll turn it over to the rest of you, darling blog followers, for comments which will provide the ending. Go hog wild on this stuff, okay? Use your imagination! Anything goes here; staight up mystery, comedy, drama, fantasy, horror--basically whatever turns your crank.

You've got till next Sunday night to add your part. When the clock strikes midnight, I'll cue the spooky music, confer with my Ouija Board and peer into my crystal ball to make sure all the stars are aligned just so.

On a piece of paper, I'll write down the names of those who contributed, then put all you sweethearts into my hat. After I shake it around for a bit, I'll choose one lucky duck for a prize. Sorry I can't give away cars or fancy vacations. My husband, Frenchie, only gives me a small allowance because I have a tendency to spend money like water. So you'll have to bear with my meager offerings of bookmarks and other small tokens of appreciation.

But hey, you can't put a price on good old-fashioned fun, right? So let the writing begin...

The Cellar, by Aunt Gladys

Holly decided, after yet another bad ending to a relationship, that it was time to move. She needed a fresh start and she needed to forget about her ex, Joe. He was such a loser, she couldn't believe she'd ever fallen for him in the first place.

She let the lease on her apartment expire and moved into a small, two-bedroom house downtown. It was an awesome house. From the looks of the architecture, complete with gingerbread lining the roof, it appeared to be at least one hundred years old. The place offered a quaint charm and she loved it.

The day after she moved in, she was unpacking boxes when a knock sounded on the door. She went to answer it, but no one was there. Figuring it must be the neighborhood kids playing pranks, she want back to her work. When another knock sounded on the door, she stormed over to answer it. If she managed to catch those little punks, she'd really give them a piece of her mind. It was summer, and they were probably bored. Well, she didn't like providing their entertainment.

To Holly's frustration, the door stoop was empty again. Not a kid in sight, and no one lurking around in the bushes. That night the phone calls began. The ringing about drove her crazy, especially since whoever it was at the other end of the line constantly hung up. So she finally unplugged the darn phone. She crawled into bed exhausted. Just about to fall asleep, she heard something moving around underneath the house. The bumping and pounding frightened her and she could practically feel her heart beating faster in her chest.

Ker-thump, ker-thump, ker-thump.

She got up, turned on the light in her bedroom and traced the noise to her closet. To her surprise, she saw a trap door outlined on the floor. The landlord hadn't shown this to her before she moved in. What the heck could be down there?

After lifting the handle, she lifted the door, wincing at the screeching noise it made. A rush of cool, musty air brushed her cheeks. Trembling, she peered down a set of dark, narrow steps...

Okay, folks. What do you think Holly found? Good, bad or ugly, this story is now yours to finish. Enjoy!

Whiners-R-Us

2011-09-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

I whine. A lot.

I whine because I'd like a job where I don’t have to work but I get a nice monthly paycheck, I whine because I want a house that always looks sparkling clean but I don't want to have to put forth any effort to keep it that way. I whine because want a car that looks spotless but I don't want to have to wash it, and I whine because I want a book that gets written but I don't want to have to sit at my computer and type it out.

Well, guess what folks? These things will never happen by themselves. If I want a paycheck I have to work for it, my house will constantly need cleaning if I want it to look nice, my car will constantly need to be washed if I want it shiny, and I will always have to write my own books. Nobody's gonna do it for me. And newsflash; I will need to drag myself out of bed each morning to turn my words into paragraphs, which become chapters, which become books.

At a writers’ conference I recently attended, I sat in a time management workshop where the presenter offered ideas on organizing and scheduling your time around commitments so writing could be done. A few of the people in the class claimed those things simply wouldn't work for them. They couldn't get past the excuses standing in the way of their success. That's sad.

Well, here’s another news flash. Writing isn’t easy, but it’s rewarding to those who stick with it. To produce books, we might have to get up early in the morning and leave our warm beds to find the time. We may have to write late at night when everyone else has sugarplums dancing in their heads. We need to do whatever we have to do to make it happen. Once we find the rhythm that works best for our productive spirit, we need to stick with it.

I challenge you to test the limits of your writing abilities. And I challenge you to never believe it if someone says you are wasting your time. There are difficult times with a writing career, but instead of being dismayed, I challenge you to look at them as stepping stones. Abraham Lincoln had his share of failures, but he finally became president. What if along the way to his success he had stopped trying? What if he'd whined and said he didn't want to work that hard? What if he'd decided he just couldn't cut it?

As writers, we we have the potential to reach best selling status or we may reach a smaller audience. That's all right. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. If even one person is entertained by what we write, we've made a difference. If only one person laughs, if only one person understands what we're saying and it makes them a better person, we've accomplished our goal. It's hard work, but we've touched a life, and that's really huge.

In the immortal words of a person who became famous for being anonymous: Some people grin and bear it, others smile and do it.

I challenge you to smile and do it. Write until you've finished that poem or that novel or that short story. What are you working on today that might change someone's life tomorrow? Think about it.

A review of Yvonne Bishop's "Bipedal" available on Smashwords

2011-09-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

Yvonne Bishop's tale starts off with a powerful bang, literally, as Phoenix, a Denver Post reporter, runs over someone or something with her car. Phoenix's editor has given her an assignment--investigate the mysterious disappearances of young people in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Phoenix will take investigative reporting to a new height.

Secrets of the small community soon begin to unfold and she is thrust into a world filled with creatures she never imagined existed. Bipedal delves into the mechanics of human psyche and the animalistic tendencies that lie within each of us, but it also offers a glimpse into the redeeming characteristics of human nature.

A deep and enduring love glimmers beneath all the action, like gold sifted from a pan of intrigue. This short gem of a story provides comfort amid the darkness by showcasing the triumph of good defeating evil. The word count may be limited, but definitely not Ms. Bishop's creative imagination. One hopes to see more of her work as it is both entertaining and enduring. It's also best read under the light of a hunter's moon... Five stars for a great story, an adult read at just .99.

Almost There on the Indie Route!

2011-09-08T05:51:00.000-07:00

A Killer Slice is at the final stages of production!

I've gone over the Create Space editor's suggestions and corrections and prepared the manuscript for upload. This morning I sent it off with specifications for inside formatting. Yay! It feels awesome. The next step will be uploading the cover art for their review.

Write like a marathon runner

2011-09-06T20:58:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article about a woman who was in a terrible car accident and barely survived. When she awakened in the hospital after surgery, she was devastated to learn she may never walk again. Before the accident, she'd hiked, biked and run marathons. Facing the rest of her life without the use of her legs was a terrible blow. After her initial shock, she made the decision she would learn to walk again. Physical therapy was agonizing and painful. Her therapist told her to think of her recovery as a marathon and that she needed to start slowly and focus on what she could do each day to improve. Today the woman is back into her active lifestyle and meeting with success.

I've shared this story because the lessons can be applied to many things in life, including writing and the inevitable rejections writers face. Imagine that you are going along writing your book and things feel great. You believe it's a good book, you've worked hard on it and you're hoping for the best. You submit it to Ms. Editor or Mr. Agent and they literally trash it. It is a devastating blow to your ego and your creative self. You have a choice. You can throw a pity party and never write again, or you can try to learn from this rejection and keep writing. Suppose you decide, after much soul searching, to continue writing. You dedicate yourself to learning your craft better. You start slowly, building one improvement upon another. You focus on daily successes and enjoy the heck out of each hurdle you overcome. One suggestion is to do what marathon runners do. 1.) Find your writing pace such as completing a sentence a day or maybe a page a day or whatever. Just do it. If you miss a day or write less than your target goal, it's okay. You're still on track for success. 2.) Get support. Marathon runners are spurred on by the cheering crowds. You can talk with family, friends and critique partners to get motivation, which can help you overcome obstacles.
3.) Runners know when they need to walk for a while during races. Allow yourself the time to slow down and recharge your batteries. In other words, stop and smell the roses for a while before you dive into the fray again. When you take the time to catch your breath and look around, you might realize you've achieved more than you ever dreamed possible!

What do you do when the writing seems to be getting too difficult? What brings things back into focus for you? You know, for one person it might just be taking your dog for a walk or talking to your kids. Regaining the excitement to keep writing is the ultimate goal we all want to reach.

Call of the Writer

2011-09-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

Writers are an exotic breed. We feel the wind caress our face with velvet fingertips, we see the ocean's sapphire brilliance sparkle with facets of diamond sunlight. The world around us doesn't just exist, it resonates with life. We wonder why other people don't experience things on such a spiritual level, so we do our best to describe and document things in our own unique language, hoping others can share our perspective. And we wonder, what makes us this way? I have an idea why I like to paint pictures with words. I'm the youngest of six children. I existed in the shadow of my older brothers and sisters who always seemed to be doing amazing things. Me, I was nothing special. I was just the kid with the scraped knees, the girl who bit her fingernails till they were bloody, the little twerp who couldn't do math if her life depended on it. I was a good reader, though. I read just about anything I could get my hands on, even if it was way above my reading level. I loved the way words sounded, I loved the way they looked in a sentence. Books spoke a language I understood. I was good at English, but I sucked at sports. Boys teased me, chased me around the playground and pulled my hair. I was no social butterfly, but I loved to embroider, crochet, sew and read, read, read. At some point, I decided to try my hand a being a writer. So I wrote a poem. Not a very good one, but my mom loved it and bragged to all her friends about it. Finally, I saw myself as someone who was good at something. I was a w-r-i-t-e-r. High school graduation, college, marriage and kids took up my twenties and by the time my thirties rolled around I decided I wanted to get back in touch with my inner writer again. My marriage was falling apart and my husband's abuse was escalating. I knew I needed to get out. So I did, through writing at first. I wrote book after book during those dark days. After my divorce, I couldn't write for a few years. I thought I'd lost the ability. Finally I reached the other side of my sadness, and the words began to flow again. Someone who read one of my books left a lovely review on Barnes and Noble. In the final sentence, she said, "Never, never, never quit writing," I don't plan to until it's time for me to cross over to that special place all writers go when they die. And I hope that's not for a long time. So why do you write? What inspires you to pursue the wordsmithing profession? Whatever it is, it's calling you for a reason. Don't ignore the voice.

Finding the bliss in writing

2011-08-31T03:09:00.000-07:00

It's always exciting to develop a new novel. There's the anticipation of creating a fresh world and different characters readers will hopefully become invested in. The glimmer of inspiration lasts throughout the book, but occasionally wanes as the reality of plot and pace and structure move forward. The dedication of planting bottom in chair, day in and day out, often gets challenging. I'm a seat-of-the-pants writer, or in other words, I prepare a rough outline of how I want the book to move forward but that’s about it. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, that often changes. Once the first draft is finished, I polish and polish until I feel it’s ready to be released onto unsuspecting editors or agents. Until that time, I rely heavily on divine intervention to help me muddle through the morass of ideas swirling in my head. I know other writers, engineer types, who painstakingly plot out each twist and turn of their stories and stick to their guns no matter what. It works well for them, but I’ve got this damned left brain that keeps me from falling too much in love with my initial ideas. Maybe I would have sold a gazillion books by now if I'd been more methodical. I don't know. But I enjoy my process, which involves jotting down ideas for each scene and spilling them out during my next writing session. How do I keep moving forward with this method that is often like trying to stitch together Jell-O? I put one foot in front of the other, so to speak. I observe the world around me, I enjoy traveling, I love going to movies and reading books of all genres. From that palette of color, I create my own concepts unique to what I’m doing. I work hard to infuse my story with love, laughter and rich plot. Since I work full time, my writing hours come during the wee hours of morning, from 4 - 7 a.m, when only me and the quirky spirits I channel are up and awake to paint words across the page. During my secret time, when everyone is snoozing; I let those creative juices flow. Once my allotted hours draw to a close, it's back to the real world. Though I must return to the office where I crank out press releases and feature stories, my mind remains ever vigilant, tucking away ideas for my current work in progress. Honestly, a writer never sleeps. What is your process for creating? It doesn’t matter, really. Just stick to it, whatever it may be, and don’t let the naysayers bring you down when they claim you’re just a hack. We hear from the sages that life is a journey, not a destination. I strongly believe the same concept applies to writing. So enjoy the road that leads you to your bliss. When it’s all said and done, that’s all that matters.

Editing the manuscript so it's a polished gem

2011-08-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

When I submitted my manscript to Create Space for editing, they said it could take up to a month to have it completed. Since I'd worked to polish the manuscript as much as I could, I hoped it would take less time. Yay! It actually came back within a couple of weeks. So this weekend, I sat down for about four hours and went through each of the editing suggestions, which were completed via Microsoft Word's track changes feature. The editing consisted of some more appropriate word choices in certain passages, some corrected spellings, some punctuation, etc. The editor caught a few inconsistencies, which I very much appreciated and promptly corrected. She also added comment bubbles with suggestions on how I could clarify or explain better in a couple of areas. Another thing I very much appreciated. She had a few different takes on style than my Medallion editors, which I don't think takes anything away from the book. Overall, I believe spending the extra bucks on the editing process was absolutely worth it and I'll do it again on any future manuscripts I choose to self publish. That's how strongly I believe in having another set of eyes review my work. Once I get the cover art from Chris Arneson this week, I'll upload that PDF, along with my clean manuscript. This book will be ready sooner than expected. Cool!

My stars are aligned; good vibes are in the air...

2011-08-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

This has been a good month! After signing on with Amazon's create space to publish A Killer Slice in December, Blaze McRob and his staff at Angelic Knight Press decided to acquire my novel, The Seven-Year Witch. This novel will be out in the January/February 2012 time frame. I wrote the witch during a frustrating point in my life, just as I did with my Saucy Lucy books. When I'm down about something, I want to laugh like the dickens. So I spent about eight months, butt planted in my office chair every morning from 4 - 7 a.m., snickering and giggling as Miranda Rose, novice witch of the Wysteria, Oregon, Hedge Haven clan came to life. I enjoyed the characters that channeled good vibes through me and onto the written page, and I'm glad the good folks at AKP like them too. Thanks to my sister Shauna for her witty ads, to my critique partners Lara Schiffbauer and Lee Neeley, who gave me encouragement to keep up the pace. And thank you, thank you, thank you to Elysa Hendricks for helping me brainstorm and for fantastic critiques! For more information about The Seven-Year Witch, you can go to AKP's website at http://www.angelicknightpress.com/. By the time Valentines Day rolls around, the witch will be riding high!

To Edit or Not to Edit; That is the Question...

2011-08-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm too chicken to self publish without an editor to catch my boo boos. It's frustrating to admit, but we all could use some polishing before we go to press. It's just the nature of this business; we get too close to the work to be entirely objective. Today I went home over my lunch hour to receive a call from Kaitlin at Create Space so we could visit about their editing process. She explained all of the Create Space editors have worked with large publishing houses and have extensive editing experience. I will not talk directly with the editor, but I can call Create Space with any questions or e-mail them at any time. The editor assigned to my book project will look over the information I sent about what type of editing I want. This will cover spelling, grammar, consistency, plot flow, character development, consistency, structure, dialog, etc. The typical things my editors looked for during the traditional publishing experience I had with my first two books. The Create Space editor will use the Chicago Manual of Style, which is the "bible" used throughout the industry. Corrections and suggestions will all be handled through Word's Track Changes, which is also how my first two books were handled at the traditional publishing house. I will also receive an editorial letter with an overview of what the editor thinks about the novel. This is all very similar to how my first books were done, so I feel comfortable there will be no surprises. I do wonder if the editor will be comfortable enough to also mark in the margins if he or she is enjoying the story. That would also be helpful as I always seek to entertain. There will also only be one round of editing, unless I think I need more, and Kaitlin said this will take approximately four weeks. I believe the book is in good enough shape that one round of editing will be enough. Once I receive the manuscript with the editor's letter and the Track Changes, I'll go through it page by page, approve, change and fix what I need to fix. Then I'll e-mail the book back to Create Space to set up the interior design and formatting. So far, things are coming along pretty good, and I'm eager to see this book come to life.

Judging Books by the Cover

2011-08-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

On the Create Space dashboard area, an author can choose to use a set template for a cover, create one yourself or have one designed by them. I work with a young man, Chris Arneson, who is a very talented graphic artist, and he does freelance work. His work at the office is top notch and very cutting edge, so I decided to hire him to give my book a nice cover. I gathered up book covers for my first two books, and gathered up some books from a favorite author of mine who always seems to have great covers. I took all of this to Chris and discussed with him ideas I have for the cover of A Killer Slice. This will help him understand the elements, the colors and the feel I want. We negotiated price as I have a set budget and I don't want to exceed it. I e-mailed him a copy of my author photo and wrote a back cover blurb about the book. Now I'll sit back and wait to see what he comes up with. I'll have a chance through the proofing process to make any corrections and when it's finished, I'll upload it on my Create Space dashboard. Then I'll get it posted on my website and put it on other places. I'm excited to see what Chris comes up with.

Getting Down to Work

2011-08-04T16:12:00.000-07:00

Create Space suggests you log into your account each day to watch for notifications. Today I had a questionnaire to fill out about the type of editing I want to have. They asked for specific things I'd like my editor to watch for in my writing, any weak spots, etc. I asked for spelling to be reviewed, proper grammar, watching for inconsistencies, overuse of adjectives, etc. Again, I've prepared this thing to the best of my ability, but I know another set of eyes will be helpful to catch things I've missed. I could also request an editor to call me so we could spend approximately 15 minutes talking about the book. This is part of the service I paid for, so I requested the visit. I'd like to discuss the overall tone of this book and how the previous two books in the series were handled, etc. Also, it would be nice to make that "human connection" as the school district I work for calls it. People like to do business with people they know, and I think it would be good to establish a friendly working relationship. Since I work full time, I'll arrange the call during a lunch hour or one of my breaks. We are trucking right along!,

The Next Step

2011-08-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's been more than a year since I looked at "A Killer Slice," the third book in my Saucy Lucy murder mystery series. So, my sister and number one reader, Shauna, proofed the entire hard-copy manuscript. I polished the prologue a bit and made the corrections. Create Space asks authors to prepare a title page, a copyright page, a dedication and anything else needed such as a glossary, epilogue, list of contributors, etc. I added what I needed to my manuscript, logged into my account and accessed my member dashboard. From there it was easy to click on my book project and upload my manuscript. At this point, the manuscript has been sent to Create Space for editing, which they say will take anywhere from two to four weeks. While in my book project area, I chose my trim size and paper color. Easy enough. I looked through the cover area next. If I wanted, I could choose from several set templates. I could also have Create Space design special cover artwork, a service that would have costed extra. However, I know a fantastic free-lance graphic artist and I'm going to hire him to design the cover. I printed design information so he can work based on Create Space's correct size and formatting requirements. I'll visit with him about the look and feel of what I want. When the cover is ready, I'll upload the PDF for Create Space to use. I'll also post the cover art on my website, along with a brief synopsis of the book so readers can watch for it.

Going Indie

2011-08-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

After I sold my books, “The Saucy Lucy Murders” and “Paws-itively Guilty,” I wrote a third in the lighthearted murder-mystery series titled, “A Killer Slice.” The publisher decided to pass on it, so I wound up with an unpublished manuscript and plenty of readers asking for more installments. I queried traditional publishers and agents to see if anyone would be interested in working with me on the third book, but so far, everyone’s turned me down. Some politely; some not so politely, but that’s the way it goes. This is a time-worn scenario—there are lots of writers in the world who can tell the same story. Sorry to say, I moped for a while. Friends and family put up with my moods. Shame on me for whining, but I couldn’t help myself. After much research and soul-searching, I decided to self-publish “A Killer Slice.” There’s a gold mine of advice from people on how to accomplish this business venture and numerous places where it can be done. At the end of the day, however, I’ve chosen Amazon’s Create Space. I believe it’s reasonably priced for what I’ll be getting, and they offer a lot of assistance throughout the process. I’m excited, but prepared to do some serious work to make this happen. I’ve set up my account, which is easy to do if you’re familiar with computers and the Internet. Create Space offers a member dashboard area that is understandable and informative. It’s an area where you can not only receive messages from your publishing team, but also check on the status of your work in progress. Later on, you can go there to check your sales and the amount of royalties, which I’m told are paid monthly. There are several different plans to choose from, and I’ve purchased one I believe will work best for me. When the book is finished, readers will not only be able to purchase a print copy, but also a Kindle version. I’m paying extra for editing, but I feel strongly this is necessary in order to turn out a quality project. Since I work in an office that publishes various types of handbooks and other items, I realize no matter how many times you proof something, you can easily miss the typos, especially when you’ve written it yourself. For example, if I think I’ve written “pantry” and leave it as “panty,” I could make a laughingstock of myself. While I’m self-publishing for personal and professional reasons, I’m also doing it for my readers. I’ve created a world so many people don’t want to let go of. Frankly, I’m not ready to let go of it myself. They say you make your own luck. So gosh darn it, I’m going to give it a shot.

Self-Cleaning House

2011-07-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

I told my husband the other day he ought to be happy, he lives in a self-cleaning house. I clean it myself. Actually, that's not entirely true. A crew of three keeps things spotless; me, myself and I. ::Sigh:: Now it's off to scrub toilets and wipe walls...

My Independence Day

2011-06-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

I think I need to declare my independence from worrying about what size of clothing I wear these days. I believe our society is witnessing the incredible shrinking woman or maybe we could call it, "Honey, I shrunk the broad." I blame the fashion industry's extreme fascination with the "starving waif look" for this occurrence. For example, a size 10 in the late 1970s, which was actually a desirable size back then, would most likely be considered a size 14 today. A size 16 back in the 1980s is probably considered a size 20 today. I think at one point, a size 0 didn't even exist because no one could imagine someone that thin and svelte. You get the picture, though I can't state this with factual knowledge. This is all just conjecture, so don't quote me. The bottom line is, considering the fact clothes begin to mysteriously shrink after several washings, I believe my size remains basically the same as when I was 18. Give or take a couple of love handles. Needless to say, this makes me very, very happy.